Hang the T.J.

Timing is everything.

2010-11-05T00:05:00.000-07:00

PREFACE: I have decided to branch out from the strictly writing beginning of this blog.

So, I went and saw a friend of mine do 10 minutes of stand-up at Flappers in Burbank. She was easily the funniest person all night. One of the big problems I had with two of the comedians was the fact that their pop culture references were horribly dated. One of them was telling a joke about how music was telling her to do things (i.e.: Get that dirt of your shoulder). Now, I am pretty much the whitest man who has ever lived, but even I can tell you that Jay-Z's "Black Album" came out in 2003 (actually I thought it was "The Blueprint" (2002), but Wikipedia corrected me, but I was at least close). Then the next comedian came up and made a joke about "Jenny from the Block". I thought to myself I think that was the same album as "My Love Don't Cost a Thing", which video had Ben Affleck. Since that video, Affleck has dumped J Lo; met Jennifer Garner; Married Jennifer Garner; Had at least one kid; and directed two movies (as well as acting in I don't know how many). The point I want to make is that if you are going to make a pop culture reference in your jokes, make sure it's still in the popular culture. If you seriously want to be comedian, you might want to write new jokes once every 5 years.

Actually, this did turn out to be about writing. I guess the lesson I learned was be careful about putting pop culture references in your script, because by the time the movie gets made, they will probably be dated.

T.J. vs. Productivity

2010-09-04T22:34:00.001-07:00

So, I picked the wrong week to institute a new work regiment. Between business meetings and a curling party, I was actually busy last week and my plan relies on the fact that I have no life.
My friend Disco suggested I try the iPhone app "Epic Win". It's basically a getting things done app where you get experience points for completing tasks. It's kinda cool. I still need the pomodoros, but this is a cool addition.
As far as screenplays, I just read an early version of "Scott Pilgrim". It's interesting because it has several parts which are even more different from the book than the theatrical version. I think a lot if this is because Brian Lee O'Mally hadn't decided how the series was going to go when the books were optioned, so the screenwriter was able to make a lot more choices. It's sorta like an alternate reality.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The September Accords

2010-08-29T22:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had one of those moments where I knew that I couldn't keep coasting through life. So, I made a list of things I needed to do and then a list of things I needed to do to accomplish those goals. So, as an experiment I am putting this list to the test as something called "The September Accords". I think it sounds fancy. So, basically you'll probably hear more from me for the next month.
Anywho, I read the script for Batman today. This is an unproduced script from 1984. The whole time I was reading it, all I could think about was which era would this fit (Burton, Schumaker, Nolan), because as the Joker said in Dark Knight "But I know the truth: there's no going back. You've changed things... forever." And that's the truth, once you've established a world, people will always compare it and if you change it too much, they won't believe it. Every movie has to be a product of their time, even if it's sci-fi, a period piece, or comic book movie. In this Batman, the Joker's sidekicks had jet-packs. Now this might have worked in Batman Returns, or any of the Schumaker's, but it wouldn't work now. People want everything nowadays grounded in some sort of reality, or at least people acknowledging that it's not comporting (i.e. Superman). Everything in the Nolan Batman movies at least seems like it might possibly happen. Also, this script has the introduction of Robin, which would never (I hope) enter the Nolan universe. The idea of a man adopting a boy to train to fight crime just seems like abuse at this point in time.
Well, there's the first of what I hope are many posts during the the month.

Wow, 2 days in a row

2010-08-19T21:46:00.000-07:00

So, I hope this means I'm back. I didn't get a lot of writing done today. I did however watch the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, which I started after my blog post last night. I also started watching 3 Days of the Condor, which I like, but I also realized that I like doing other things while I watch TV (internet, Words With Friends) and I don't always pay attention to what's going on, and for a movie like that i really need to sit down and watch. I plan on attempting again after this blog post.
I also watched two sports movies today. I like watching sports movies because they motivate me to train for curling. I'm going focus on the one I watched in morning because it had a much more complicated story than the one I watched while riding my exercise bike (The Rookie). Gracie is the story set in the 1970's of a girl who's brother was a soccer star coached by her father. After her brother is killed in a car accident, she decides that she is going to play on boys varsity team (there is no girls team) and beat the team her brother couldn't. Her father refuses to coach her because she's a girl and boys coach won't let her train in the boys gym (the only one with weights).
At this point, I was like "Okay. Here is where she decides to do it on her own and prove everyone wrong." Except that's not what happens. She decides to quit. She starts partying and sneaking into clubs. She fails her classes and eventually steals her parents car and has get pulled off some older dude by her dad. It's only when she's hit rock bottom that her dad decides to train her because that's all he can think to do because he can't talk to her. Her father goes so far as to quit his job to train her. But, when the school board refuses to let her play on the boys team, her father talks to the school and gets her on the field hockey team (essientially giving up on her playing soccer). She does the appeal herself and the school board agrees to let her try out. She tries out, but only makes JV. She wants to quit, but her dad talks her out of it. I won't ruin the end (but we can all guess what it is). There is a lot more to this movie, but it's father-daughter relationship that makes it memorable.
I guess the thing I took away from this movie is that you can have that typcial set up and even the same act breaks as every other sports movie, but make it a much more complex story if you make your characters rounded and fallible. She doesn't have the strength in the begging to keep going when everyone tells her to quit. She needs to hit rock bottom and her dad to believe in her. After all the training, her dad still doesn't believe a girl should play on the boys team. Depending on the type of movie you're making you don't necessarily need all that complexity. It's entirely possible that it was realness of the story that kept it from succeeding at the box office. But, at the end of the day I'm going to remember this movie for a lot longer than something like that football movie with Marky Mark Invincible or probably even The Rookie. When Gracie succeeds, you feel it a lot more as you have way more invested in the character.
When I inevitably write a curling script it'll probably be more The Cutting Edge than Gracie, but I'm definitely going to be thinking about Gracie while I'm writing it.
Wow, in an effort to make this even more stream-of-consciousness. I was just thinking about how in those things you see on-line "50 questions to ask your charcater" and the like, in most cases while I'm writing a movie I can answer most of those questions, but not all. And certainly after watching a movie I couldn't answer most of them. But, after watching Gracie, I could probably answer most of them, not only about Gracie, but about her mom and dad as well. None of the characters felt like throwaway archtypes.
I'm seriously rambling now. I'll leave it at this and hope to be more coherent when next we meet.

BTW: I'm finishing my 2nd pomodoro of the day right about now.

Has it been 4 months already?

2010-08-18T20:43:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those summers (spring/summers?). So, I'm still on the job hunt. Since last I blogged, I worked for 9 days and did a curling music video. It wasn't union, but it was still pretty legit (apparently, they showed it at the Playboy mansion). I also curled in the Hollywood Blockbuster Bomspiel (see it's sorta movie/writing/pop culture related). I curled one of the best games of my life against a team from Scotland and ended up losing on the last stone (I'm actually happy and not bitter).
But, back to the task at hand. So, I hadn't been reading much in the way of scripts nor had I been writing much. Although having been inspired by Cutaway, I "cutaway" the majority of DVD and book library. Lean and mean, that's what I'm going for. I also realized that writing (or the lottery, fingers crossed) might be the only way I can get out of the massive debt load I'm under (I mean I guess there's always the possibility that someone would hire me to do actual law work, but I'm not sure that would allow me curling schedule I aspire for). I also cancelled my cable and am contemplating cancelling the internet. Not that the internet is all that expensive, it's just kinda distracting and I have an iPhone, so I'll still be able to blog and tweet and email and stuff.
So, I'm back on the horse. I wrote for 2 pomodoros today and spent another 2 finishing up reading the thing I have been plugging away at for months now: a transcript of the story meeting between George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Lawrence Kazdan for Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's like 120 pages long. I'm not sure how far along Lucas is in the process, but it feels like he's given it more thought than the others, but it's still really raw. The two big things I got out of reading it was:
1)Your first idea is rarely the best: In this case it took them about 5 pages to realize that the Nazi should have a part of the amulet burned on his hand instead of there being an out and out miscalculation. they went through such ideas as mistranslation and not factoring in the change of the Earths orbit/tilt. None as good as what they ended up with.
2)Just because you don't use it here, doesn't mean you won't use it: There are two sequences that they initially talk about in this meeting that both appear in Temple of Doom. They're both great sequences (most of the opening through the boat going down the mountain and the mine cars through the tunnels) and I'm glad they didn't just chuck them. They kept them around and used them in the sequel and I think they actually work better there).

I know what my problem is - I didn't Cutaway

2010-04-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

So, Script Frenzy was pretty much a bust as I wasn't really ready to do another first draft, so I just poked at a couple things. I eventually decided to go back and do the re-writes I should have been doing all along. Unfortunately, I seem to have misplaced my rewrite notes, so it's taking me a lot longer than I had anticipated.

Last Saturday I took a class with Scott Lobdell (X-Men, Buffy [comics]) on comic writing and screenwriting. It was kinda amazing just to here about his process. It seems like he is just constantly coming up with ideas, but more importantly, he's also constantly working. He told us his story about how he broke into a comics, and it was basically just working his ass off, until they gave him a chance. He also gave out handouts about the different stages of writing a comic. He also talked about
At the end, Caleb Monroe (an up and coming comic book writer) also spoke about breaking in. I think it was he quoted the old saying about how breaking into comics is like breaking out of prison: once one guy does it, they close off that means of escape.

As I was leaving I grabbed a copy of Hunters Fortune, which Caleb scripted. The thing I immediately noticed was, like in screenwriting, Caleb kept entering each scene at the last possible moment. The book opens with Hunter's landlady yelling about how he is 3 months late on rent. We don't need to see him miss the first two payments, look at his bank account, or turn out his pockets like in Monopoly. We find out everything we need to know about his normal life in the first two pages: he is homeless, unemployed, and his car is being repossessed. The story never stops moving. There is never a wasted frame.
I'll probably end up buying the other book he wrote, something involving Steven Baldwin. Ever since http://www.restorestephenbaldwin.org/, I've been a little weary of anything involving that Baldwin brother (Although, I did love him in Shark in Venice, one of the movies that inspired my own creature-feature Piranhasteroid!).
I have to include this as well:

AUTHORS NOTE: I applaud Mr. Baldwin for living his life openly, I just don't think he should be soliciting money for it.

I think it means, like, sneaky or something

2010-04-07T21:38:00.000-07:00

On Groupon last weekend they had a deal where if you could a buy a $12.00 gift certificate for Collectors Paradise for $5.00. I, of course, bought the max (which was 3). I neglected to check out the location of this comic book store, which is Winnetka. Now, for my readers who don't know where that is - it's hip deep in the valley and nowhere near anywhere I go anymore. It's basically almost as far as the law office I used to work at. I might have had a second thought about buying them had I known, and I would have ended up regretting it. It takes me about half an hour to get there, which is about how long it takes me to get to Golden Apple, which is where I make my purchases now. The store is about the same size and the selection is not quite as good, but still better than Secret Headquarters (the closest store to me). I have a feeling that they know they are in ass end of nowhere, so they have a "Graphic Novel Club" where if you buy a graphic novel, you get 20% in store credit to spend on your next graphic novel purchase. I'm not sure if this is enough to get me to go back after I spend all my gift certificates (which can't be stacked).

So, my first purchase was Incognito by Ed Brubaker with art by Sean Phillips. Now, you may have noticed that this is probably the first time I've mentioned the authors of a graphic novel, and that's because I'm a huge fan of both of them. Ed Brubaker does the Criminal series, which is usually 3-5 issue arcs that are sort of noir-pulpy. Sean Phillips has been involved with Criminal, Marvel Zombies, and Hellblazer. Between the two of them they manage to hit my two favorite things: pulp and horror.

Incognito is the story of Zack Overkill, a former supervillain now in the witness protection program forced to live out the rest of his days as a file clerk at huge office building. When the drugs that rob him of his superpowers start wearing off, he starts fighting crime - not because he's had some epiphany, but because he likes hurting people. He's the kind of guy who after he's done saving you, he's likely to yell at you or take you home and have his way with you. He hates regular people. He just hate not being superior more, and if he's found out he'll likely be put in prison with his old boss, whom he helped put away.

I got it home and I couldn't put it down. What's amazing about this book, is that it isn't a redemption story. He hasn't learned to love humanity during his time as a regular person - as a matter of fact, he may hate them even more now. He hasn't found a respect for human life, he still loves killing people. He is who he is.

I guess the main thing I took out of this, from a writing standpoint, is to let your character's be who they are. If their assholes, let them be the best asshole they can be. Not everyone when given the opportunity to change for the better is going to do it, some might change for the worse just to show you who's boss.

My life will the Thrillkiller cult

2010-03-30T22:03:00.000-07:00

So, I just got Batman: Thrillkiller from the Atwater Village library and read it cover to cover. I am telling you now, to do whatever you have to do read this book. It's not a perfect story, but what it does do, it does very well.
The story basically reinvents the Batman story and shows what new paths you can go down if you make changes in a character's backstory or change the setting of the story. In this new version, which takes place in 1961, Bruce Wayne's parents go broke in the depression, prior to being killed, and Bruce is raised in an orphanage and becomes a cop. Barbara Gordon is Batgirl and Dick Grayson is Robin, and Bruce is hunting them down. Barbara is rich and owns Wayne Manor, which she has retrofitted and refers to as the Batcave. There are other changes (Joker is a woman), but you get the idea.
In the past, I never gave a huge amount of thought into character's backstory or the specifics about setting. While I was writing Heisty however, I started to. I changed character's gender and starting using specific regional aspects in the storytelling, and it helped the story make sense.
Thrillkiller does this in spades, it takes a story we already know and shows us how everything would be different if their world was different, but that what it is at the core of the character doesn't have to change. Bruce is a corrupt cop like everyone else on the force because of his tough upbringing, he is still a boy scout.
If you can get your hands on a copy of this book, it's definitely worth reading.

Ugh.

2010-03-14T15:22:00.000-07:00

This is just a quick post to let you in on a little lesson I learned last week: Don't make notes if you're not going to look at them.

On Tuesday or Wednesday last week I was going over my notes for my zombie script (tentatively titled "Ship of Ghouls") and I realized I had already solved the problem of fast vs. slow zombies, in a (I hope) new way that I really like and that makes a lot of sense to me.

Oh well, at least I found the notes and am happy now.

Slow and steady wins the race

2010-03-09T23:26:00.000-08:00

After some thought last night, I realized I had already given myself a way to have "patient zero" be fast and the rest be slow. But, after talking with Matt and Disco, and really thinking about why I chose the location I did for my script, I realized that slow zombies are the best choice. With narrow hallways and no real escape, there is no need for fast zombies. Sure fast zombies are scarier, but you kinda lose what makes zombies what they are: the living dead.

I may end changing my mind and just making them fast "infected". But, for now, slow and steady wins the race.

BTW: I got back into the treatment for this script that I had started months ago and put down. It's interesting to see all these ideas I had, that I had completely forgotten about (as well as some pretty terrible character names). I'm hoping that by the end of the week I have my treatment done and then I can start working on a beat sheet/outline (possibly right in Final Draft).

Also, since there is no reason why this script should be more than 80-85 pages (a lot of action; less dialogue as we go; keeping that level of tension), I am also going to write a spec for Community. It will of course involve curling. More updates on that when I ahve an actual plot in mind.

How fast do you like your zombies?

2010-03-08T22:34:00.000-08:00

I should have realized that once I started playing Left 4 Dead that it was a foregone conclusion that I would select my zombie script to write for Script Frenzy. I debated my ninja script, my panda script and my horror-noir script (and for a moment I even debated my "illegal cross-country road race" script). But, in the end, the fact that I already had a lot of idea on post-its covering one side of my bookcase (and the fact L4D is so intense) caused it to win out. Quite frankly I was beginning to wonder if I would ever write it.

Now comes the fundamental question all modern zombie writers have to answer: Fast or slow zombies?

My initial inclination is to make them slow - in my mind it just makes sense. These people are dead. There muscles and brains are no longer receiving nutrients. The inflection is what is keeping them alive. But, on that same note, there's no rule saying that the infection couldn't be supercharging everything. And, fast zombies are in many ways scarier than slow zombies.

What I am debating doing is making most of them slow and just a handful fast. The problem is how do I explain it? I mean my protagonists are college kids, not biomedical engineers, so any explanation must be readily apparent to them. Do I even have to explain it? The problem is that I don't want my screenplay to come off like a video game, where you have a lot grunts to kill and then bosses.

Let me know if you have any ideas.

SCRIPT FRENZY

2010-03-05T22:53:00.000-08:00

So, as you may have ascertained, I have not been writing a lot as of late. Between stressing out about not working and working, I just haven't been getting a lot of writing done. So, when my friend Matt emailed me about Script Frenzy, I was instantly hooked.
Now, Script Frenzy is brought to you by the same people who do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), but instead of writing 50,000 words (I think), you have to write 100 pages of script. It can be comic book, screenplay, teleplay, or play (I think I got them all).
It starts 4/1 and goes to 4/30. It may seem like tons of time until it starts, but in actuality, it's not much time at all, when I think about everything I have to do before then:
1) Finish the draft of Heisty that I am working on and probably do at least one polish on it.
2) Figure out which story I want to do next - I guess it's a good problem to have, having a lot of ideas for stories to write about, but I need to pick one and stick with it, which is the hard part.
3) Once I pick the idea I need to quickly write the story, then a treatment and then a fairly detailed outline, because when it comes time to start, 3+ pages a day is not easy when you don't know exactly where your story is going. This is problem I had with Heisty - I just had a basic idea and started writing, so when the script came out to 60 pages, I just started randomly filling stuff in, and not really thinking about the story.

I've got the notecard app for the iPhone, as well as the screenplay app, so I'm going to go through both of those and my Moleskine, over the weekend and try and figure out which story will be the best, easiest, but most importantly, the story I will be the most excited about writing hardcore for a month.

I'll try and give you an idea as to what kinds of stories I'm considering over the weekend. Here's a sneak peak: They're pretty much all genre films.

I am returned

2010-01-20T19:08:00.001-08:00

I have been gone quite awhile. I know, like children, you're wondering: "What did he bring me? Script reviews? Tomatoes? Some other halfassed ideas?"
The answer is....I have brought you nothing. Certainly, I have read scripts (and I will be discussing them soon) and I have been attempting to get around this problem in my script (without the help of tomatoes, which may or may not be a good idea).
But, in fact, I come to you empty handed. This is only a harbinger of things to come.
I am returned. And you will be hearing from me.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I got two tomatoes, one for the both of you!

2009-12-19T18:39:00.000-08:00

So, I read the first (of what I asusme will be many) of the scripts off of the Blacklist, The Gunslinger by John Hlavin. I heard described as a western meets Taken, which is pretty much what it it. It's a revenge movie pretty straight up. This script could have easily just been cliche, which it is in sections, but because it was so well written, it doesn't matter. The script moves so well you don't want to stop and think about what you've read, you just have to know what happens next. It just keeps racheting up the tension and stakes until the end where you're on the edge of your seat and you can't wait to see how it ends. I defintely got a lot of out the action lines, which were short, but detailed. You knew everything that was going to happen, which made seeing it in your head much easier.

Next, on to the Pomodoros: As of 6:30 on 12/19, I am at 63 Pomodoros. So, unless I am completely worthless, I will be able to hit my goal of 65 Pomodoros before I leave for TC on Monday. Since I am going to be spending a lot of time sitting on planes on Monday, my goal is to have 72-75 Pomodoros when I land in TC.

Whoa, we're halfway there.....

2009-12-17T23:19:00.000-08:00

So, I hit Pomodoro's 50-52 tonight. A day or two behind scheudle, but who's counting (well, besides you gentle readers). What seemed impossible only a few days ago, now just seems highly unlikely. My screenplay is grinding along. I realize that I hate starting writing, once I get going I rather enjoy it, but the prospect of sitting down and actually starting seems huge. I think part of it is that I know the tremendous amount work it's going to take to rewrite my script the way it should be. Oh well, I soldier on. Since I'm unemployed, I'm basically paying myself to write and I should think of it more like that. Hopefully that will be more inspiring.

Anyways. So, I watched Inglorious Basterds and read the script yesterday. The big thing I noticed (other than the scenes that were cut), was QT's setting something up with no pay off (in the script). In the script after the massacre in the bar, the Jew Hunter finds a solider still alive who tells him what happened, instead of the way better finding the autograph. You had this great set-up her signing an autograph and kissing it, and then completely forgetting it. Thankfully he realized his mistake. It reminds me of that screenwriting saying that's about if you see a gun in the first act, someone better use it (or something like that). I feel like once I deleted that one character from my script I realized that I had set all this great crap up and I just needed to that character out of the way to see it.

Well, I continue path with blood in my wake. I'll give the week end update as always on Saturday.

PS: I'm going to start working my way through this years Blacklist, so if you have any suggestions let me know.

Is it catsup or ketchup? All I know is that I am behind on my tomatoes!

2009-12-12T22:22:00.000-08:00

Alright, so I got a total of 21 Pomodoro's this week bringing my grand total up to 33. I should be more like 36, which isn't too far off the pace, but with Christmas (eve and day) and NYE coming up and me going back to TC for a week, I was hoping to be close to 80 by the time I went back. Unfortunatley that would require me doing like 10 a day. My new goal is be at 65 when I leave for TC. It's doable. It's like 4 a day. With screenplay reading I should be able to accomplish that, especially if I keep reading the screenplay while I watch it on DVD, which takes longer (I'll only do that once a week).
Speaking of screenplay reading while watching the movie, I did that with The Dark Knight today. The biggest thing I got out of it was how even though it's one way on the page, it will be different on the screen. I know that's fairly obvious, but what I mean is that all of the elements were there, but a lot of times, sequences were edited different than they were written and in all of those times what appeared on the screen was better. Most of the times it involved intercutting between scenes and not playing out one scene and then moving on to the next scene. Pacing wise it kept the movie moving a lot better. This is something I need to think about when I'm trying to build tension, but I still need to get a bunch of story out at the same time. Can I use dialogue from one scene while I'm showing something else. Stuff like that.

Oh well, here's hoping next week is better.

You gotta know what you're talking about

2009-12-10T20:22:00.000-08:00

Up in the Air (2/18/03 draft) by Sheldon V. Turner, based on the book by Walter Kim

I'm going to start by saying, I don't know Jason Reitman found his Up in the Air in this script. I haven't read the book, I know nothing about the book. My hope is that the book is closer to Reitman's vision, and this particular screenwriter and countless producers conspired to ruin to it....Although, my fear is that this is a farily accurate adaptation. I have nothing to back that up except for the fact that the writer makes little mistakes which leads me believe he doesn't know what's he's talking about and just parroting a summary of the book. Case in point, the protagonist refers to people as "Japeto". I think this is reference to "Gepetto" from Pinocchio. But, who knows. The more egregious case occurs on page 32 where as joke (I assume) he answers the phone "Edie Ahmean". I can only assume he is referring Idi Amin famous Ugandan dictator. While I don't expect everyone to have seen Barbet Schroeder's General Idi Amin Dada: A Self-Portrait (Last King of Scotland had not yet come out this point), I do expect someone who is trying to make a cultural reference to at least do the research on the spelling of the person's name. (On a complete sidenote when I saw the writers spelling all I could think of was Edie McClurg's role from Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Being a fan of the film and after these (and other minor mistakes) I was predisposed not to like this script, and I didn't. It again makes me realize that Jason Reitman is one of the best filmmakers of generation. He knows when not to touch a script (Juno) and when to rewrite and make it his own.

But, I wonder if it was his track record that allowed to make such sweeping changes (like everything but the setup), which is why this one falls so flat. I am going to hope that this was a new writer without the juice to say that the ending is just too Hollywood, and doesn't fit with the tone of the movie. This could also be a function of the time- 2003 being good times economically and 2009 being bad.

Don't condescend me....

2009-12-07T00:47:00.000-08:00

Armored by James V. Simpson

First off this a pretty good script. It moves ridiculously fast and keeps the tension high throughout most of it. The big problem I had was that the script said things like "Ty's Camaro blasts into a lot full of big red ARMORED CURRENCY TRANSPORTS (ACTs), that's an "Armored Truck" for you
civilians." and "A TACTICAL MOBILE UNIT, you know it as a "police car", crawls
around the corner of a building." I'm not really sure why the author took such great pains to assume we didn't know the jargon and to prove how smart he is by pointing it out to the reader. Maybe it's just me (because I like to think I know a lot of stuff) but this instantly made me very angry towards this script. I got past it, but it did stick in craw for much of the read and ended up taking me out of it from time to time.
It would be different if this was a script about a crackerjack team pulling off a heist, but this is by design average people pulling off an admittedly simple heist. It's great you know the proper terminology for all this, but it's unnecessary. There are countless other ways the author could have gotten this information across without making the reader feel ignorant.

On a complete side note, my curling team "You Say Zombie! We Say Where?" clinched our playoff berth tonight and will be 3 seed after and 8-2 win. There was actually a 5 way tie for the final 2 positions and because we had beaten 2 of the teams and lost to the other 2, it came down to tiebreaker points, which we did pretty well on this season. Even the games we lost, we managed to win at least 3 or 4 ends which all added up to us catapulting two teams that had beaten us. Tonight we played probably the best we had played all season, everything seemed to be firing right (or at least when we needed it). It's too bad our Vice-Skip, Jen, won't be there next week for our grudge match against "The Untouchables".

Also, unless Ryan Grant gets negative points tomorrow night, I also clinched a playoff spot in my Fantasy Football league.

Sometimes you need a scalpal...and sometimes you need a chainsaw

2009-12-05T22:31:00.000-08:00

First, the Pomodoro update. I am currently at 13 Pomodoros for the month, so I am behind the pace, but I have every confidence that I'll be able to catch up.

Next, so I've been having some trouble with this script I've been writing. I've got this character whom I love (he's sort of like a gay Micky Stone from Hustle), but he doesn't have a whole lot to do in the script until the end, besides drop the occasional bon mot. So, I was having trouble sleeping on Thursday night and I started thumbing through Script magazine and they were talking about editing and cutting stuff and it hit me - I had to cut that character. I had debated cutting one of the other main charcters, but I couldn't make it work. I changed the gender of a different main charcater, and she ended up working better, but something was still off. The answer was always cutting this main character.
As soon as I made the decision to cut him, everything fell into place. Now my two central characters, have actual arcs and themes. The script (once the changes are made) will be a gijillion times better than it was going to be with the changes that I was planning as late as Wednesday of this week. The whole script just makes more sense and will move so much better.
As a result, this will probably take the rest of the tomatoes this month to finish.

It's our differences that make us special

2009-12-03T13:01:00.000-08:00

Ocean's Eleven by Steven Carpenter revisions by Ted Griffin

So, today I decided to try something I had read about, where you read the screenplay whilst you watch the movie. Unfortunately, the only copy of Ocean's I could find was not the shooting script, but was (I'm guessing) an almost final draft. What was interesting about this was the skeleton was all there, but the minor tweaks from dialogue to charcter and plot points made a huge difference on the screen. Seeing the final version, I agreed with all the changes made. A lot of them were just wittier dialogue, although many of my favorite moments do exist in the script. The big change that I noticed was the end. In the script Tess tells Danny that she doesn't want to be with him or Terry and then walks off leaving Danny with his crew, whereas on screen Danny gets arrested for parole violations (which had been foreshadowed throught the script and film) and Tess runs up and says "That's my husband". That is one of the biggest emotional points in the film and it's not in this draft of the script. My hope is that Ted Griffin saw the mentions of parole and then realzied that was a perfect ending.
At Screenwriting Expo John Cleese talked about how in Fish Called Wanda he couldn't figure out what to do with Michael Palin's character in the middle of the script (as he had nothign to do until the end), then he realized he should have him try and kill the witness but instead just kill her dogs (his character is huge animal lover). This kind of thing was just somethign that was probably always there in the story and he just had to find it.

I'm going to try and do this kind of thing more often, with both shooting scripts and early drafts.

Ocean's Eleven http://www.mypdfscripts.com/index.php?s=ocean's+11

December is the "Month of 100 Tomatoes"

2009-11-30T21:05:00.000-08:00

So, I was going to announce my next project on Thanksgiving, but as you know, that didn't happen. It was going to be me watching all of the James Bond movies in order on a daily basis and then blogging about it. I still may do it. But for now, the project which will start tomorrow is something I call "The Month of 100 Tomatoes". As the year closes and I still don't have a version of either of my screenplays that is ready for people to see, I have decided that my goal will be get 100 Pomodoros (or an average of 3+ a day) of writing done this month. While an hour and fifteen minutes a day isn't that much, and I will be counting the time I spend the 2 screenplays I will be reading and blogging about a week, it should allow me to finish at least one more draft on my heist movie and possibly another polish on it or another draft on my dark thriller (or possibly a first draft of something completely new).

Wish me tomatoes!

I hate TONY

2009-11-25T20:29:00.000-08:00

So, Time Out New York just did their Top 50 movies of the decade (http://newyork.timeout.com/articles/film/80947/the-tony-top-50-movies-of-the-decade/2.html). What a load of crap. First off, way too many movies I haven't seen and no inclusion of what I think could be the best film of the decade: "The Dark Knight".

So, I've decided to do a preliminary top 50 the decade. This is just my off the top of my head, with a little poking around the internet list. PLEASE remind of things I left off. At the end of the year I'll rank my top 50 and do a little write up. This is by no means the BEST FILMS, this is just the 50 I can see myself watching for the next years to come.

Here is the preliminary list:

Anchorman

Batman Begins
Dark Knight
Kill Bill I & II
Lord of the Rings
Casino Royale
Royal Tennenbaums
Lost in Translation
American Psycho
Zoolander

Donnie Darko
Brick
Grindhouse
Man on Fire
Snatch
Wonder Boys
Almost Famous
Sin City
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Amelie
The Bourne Identity
The Incredibles
United 93
Eastern Promises
Shaun of the Dead
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Serenity
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
City of God

28 Days Later
Inglorious Basterds
Unbreakable
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Million Dollar Baby
About a Boy
Little Miss Sunshine
In the Loop
History of Violence
Pan's Labyrinth

Traffic
Memento
No Country for Old Men
Gran Torino
300
Being John Malkovich
28 Days Later
Team America: World Police
School of Rock
Black Dynamite

Day 30 - Sunflowers in the window

2009-11-25T13:30:00.000-08:00

Sunflower by Mischa Green

So, it's the last in the series and I had anticipated going out on a big blockbuster movie or something really personal to me. Instead, I chose this little unproduced script called Sunflower that Kristy from The Matriarchial Script Paradigm blog (http://mscriptparadigm.blogspot.com/) recommended to me last night on Facebook.

The script is ridiculously tense. The author does a great job setting everything up and introducing us to the characters before we realize the horror of what's going on in the story. The overwhelming sense of dread and betrayals in the script make for an amazing read and show how a script can really come to life on the page.

One of the big things I got out of it, just from a technical point, was that even when there was a lot of text on the page she broke it up well, making most paragraphs 3 lines or less and using ALL CAPS to draw us to the really important parts when your eyes glaze over.

Well, this experiment is over, thanks for following me through these 30 scripts. I think in the future I'm going to try to do 2-3 a week and make sure to include some sort of rating system. Let me know if there is anything else you'd like to see.

Sunflower http://www.mediafire.com/?w2ndzmtmfwm

The countdown and next project

2009-11-24T20:50:00.000-08:00

So, I have one script to go and I will have finished my 30 scripts in closer to 40 days. But, I was sick for a lot of it, so I'm cutting myself some slack on this first one.

I will be announcing the next project on THANKSGIVING, so keep watching the blog to see how I'm going to be filling my days next.

On, another note, the Pomodoro Technique is still going relatively strong. I used it to clean the majority of my apartment (between yesterday and today). I still have a lot of cleaning to go, but it's looking way better. I'm going to start setting a goal of 8-12 Pomodoros a day (starting on Friday), I'll keep you updated on that. (BTW: I did 9 Pomodoros yesterday and 3 today)

Tomatoes...Really?

2009-11-23T20:28:00.000-08:00

So, in my never ending quest to find the easy way to get things done, I have started using a new time management system called the "Pomodoro Technique" (http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/). Basically, the way it works is you assign a certain number of 25 minute "pomodoros" ("pomodoro" is Italian for "tomato" a reference to the tomato-shaped kitchen timer the author developed the system around) to completing a certain task. At the end of each pomodoro you take a 3-5 minute break and then at the end of 4 pomodoros you take a longer 30 minute break. Now, obviously this technique really only works for people who 1)Don't work on a hourly basis and 2)don't have rigid structure at work (I can only imagine the heart surgeon who stops as he's attaching a bypass for his mandated pomodoro breaks). I instituted the technique on Friday and so far it seems like the right technique for me.

The main reason it works for me is because of the essiential rule of the Pomodoro Technique: The pomodoro is indivisible! Basically what this means is that in order for the pomodoro to count, you have work continuously for the entire pomodoro. If you are interrupted for any reason and have to stop working, the pomodoro is void and doesn't count, therefore you have to restart the pomodoro at 25 minutes. There is no such thing as half a pomodoro - the pomodoro is indivisible. The breaks are also mandatory, which is nice.
So, basically when I'm in a writing pomodoro, I don't answer the phone, I don't check my email - I just do writing. I know that I have a 5 minute break coming up and I know that I can read my email or read my blogs during that time or the longer break coming up.
Now, obviously, as with any system, you can cheat. I was cleaning my apartment today when a call came in that I had to take. Now, I assumed that the phone call would cause my Pomodoro app (I'll talk about this later) to close on my iPhone. It didn't, so I had the option of just continuing to clean and still counting the pomodoro. But, I decided to be honest and restart the pomodoro and keep cleaning, so in essence I got about 15 more minutes of work done than I would have had I not restarted the pomodoro, but I was ensured of the getting the 25 minutes in that I had budgeted. The only thing I do cheat at is if I know I'm going on a longer break and i only 5 minutes left of work, I'll just push through which is a violation of the rules, but I don't want to waste an additional 20 minutes on something I can have done in less time.
The other great thing about the Pomodoro Technique is the cost: FREE. Yep, that's right, nada. You can download the book in .pdf for free off the website. I found a free program for windows (which I haven't tried) and I think there are like 4 apps (the most expensive being $.99) for the iPhone. They're not perfect, but they're good enough to get the job done. I would like more customizability (differing break times [only 5 minutes] and the inability to assign multiple pomodoros to tasks [which is an important part of the system]), but for the cost you really can't beat them.

I'll give updates on how well the system is working for me periodically. Likely, I'll give up on it as soon as the novelty wears off....Hopefully not.

Day 29 - And the fanboys shall inheirit the Earth

2009-11-23T12:28:00.000-08:00

Vampocalypse by Brian Lee Johnson

So, I'm pretty sure this script is not only unproduced, but I'm not sure if it's even been sold yet. It was recommended by Simply Scripts, so I gave it a shot. The things I got out of it were a couple things I've discussed previously but now that we're on the precipice I'm going to break it down again and then add one new thing.
1) The reader - The description is definitely written with the reader in mind. It moves really well and more imporantly it's fun to read. On page 1 the author describes the main vampire as "This is KASDEYA, bald,
pale skinned, thin, well muscled -- a DEMONIC version of Iggy Pop." You immedaitely get the picture of what he looks like and you know what kind of movie you're in for. It's going to be fun like Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead (which is exactly what the tone of this is). You know it's going to take the subject matter seriously, but it's not going to take itself seriously.

2)Too quirky - I'm sorry, your main characters favorite expletive can't be "Jesus tits". I don't buy it. And also, while making a character clumsy is one thign, having him trip over (i'm guessing) 5 things in the course of 3 scenes is too much. I understand the author is trying is foreshadow somethign important at the end, but it's too much.

3) FANBOYS RULE - This movie revolves around characters who work at a RPG/Comic Book/Memorabilia store. Guys who hangout and do fanboy stuff. And since the rise of ComicCon, every knows that the fanboy audience is critical for this type of film. This is a fanboy movie from beginning to end. Even the read is geared towards fanboys, with pop culture references peppered through the descriptions and dialogue.

This script is not perfect but it's a fun read.

Vampocalpyse http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/Vampocalypse.pdf

Day 28 - The films of Richard Guy

2009-11-20T16:12:00.000-08:00

Rocknrolla - Guy Ritchie

Since I am writing a comedy-caper movie, I can't not read more Guy Ritchie. Rocknrolla may be my favorite of the Guy Ritchie caper movies. I'm not sure why? It's probably the characters, which is what Ritchie does so well. His scripts are alwyas thick with atmosphere, you learn everything you need to about these characters relatively quickly sometimes through their actions, but usually through dialogue. Guy Ritchie (like Tarantino) is not one to shy away from the monologue, but the difference with Ritchie is that his monologues are shorter and the pop culture walkabouts he takes never last longer than page. He doesn't have the Tarantino thing where girls sit around a table for pages talking about something on the radio, or the like. Ritchie has the "cool" dialogue, without letting it slow down the pace. And that's the key with dialogue, it can be cool, but not at the cost of pace and story.

Rocknrolla - http://warnerbros2008.warnerbros.com/hfpa/assets/images/RockNRolla_Script.pdf

Days 26-27 - The Boy who Stopped Blogging

2009-11-18T22:57:00.000-08:00

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and The Girl who Played with Fire by Steig Larsson

So, I've been sick for the past few weeks and it finally caught up with me. So, I didn't do this for few days. But, I did read two novels, so I figure I can use those for 2 of the days and only have 3 to go and probably only end a week late.
I'm not going to go into the plot of the books because there is just too much going on. The big thing I got out of it, is that if you have compelling characters that the reader cares about, you can get away with murder. The books are very well written and you really care about the characters. After I finished both books, I walked away thinking about how much I liked them, but also how many coincidences occur and how while I was reading I didn't care. In both cases also it took along time to get into the stories, but you don't care because the the charcters grab from go.
Als, in both cases I ended up reading over 400 pages in one day. One of the ways that it kept me going was either short chapters or the setting would change mid-chapter, so it would be like a new scene. I kept thinking "well, it's just another 5 pages" or "the end of the section is only 40 pages away" or "well, I wonder what Lisbeth is doing" and so I just kept reading. Also, if there was a section I didn't like, I knew it was only going to be another few pages, so I could just push thorugh to get to the sections I wanted to read.

So, just like all the books say: Compelling characters and keeping the story moving are the keys to good storytelling no matter the medium

Days 23-25 - Forget it Thing, It's Twlight!

2009-11-12T19:56:00.000-08:00

I spent all last night reading "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson, and as such, didn't take the time to do this. I also missed last Sunday. So here's 3 days rolled into one. I decicded to look at an outline, a step sheet, and a treatment.

Twilight (outline) by Melissa Rosenberg
It's better on the page than it is on the screen. What's interesting about this is that all the scenes and some of the dialogue is there. It's 29 pages long and it's almost all text. You really do get a sense of the main characters and some of the secondary characters. I was really surprised to see that the scene headings were there.

Chinatown (step sheet) by Robert Towne
This seems to be organized around important dialogue in that particular step. This was only 10 pages long, so obviously it wasn't nearly as detailed. It's basically the story broke down into steps. In the margins are handwritten numbers which I am assuming are the page count for that step. One of the step is of course called "She's my daughter...She's my sister."

The Thing II (Treatment) by Garry A. Piazza
It's basically the story, with a cliffhanger ending. It's 6 pages long. The story would be fine, if it didn't add the character of the alien bounty hunter. The thing that that made The Thing so great was that it was humans against a superior alien force and the only reason the alien didn't win, was because they were in the middle of the arctic, so it had no where to go without a host. If you add an alien with super-technology, you kinda miss the point.

http://www.mypdfscripts.com/treatments/twilight-outline
http://www.mypdfscripts.com/treatments/chinatown-step-sheet
http://www.mypdfscripts.com/treatments/the-thing-ii-treatment

Day 22 - It's all in the details

2009-11-10T18:44:00.000-08:00

The Adventures of Luke Skywalker as taken from the "Journal of the Whills" - Saga 1: STAR WARS by George Lucas

The script is 151 pages long. Of those 151 pages nearly 50 pages of it is the final battle with the Death Star. That's how meticulously choreographed that final sequence is. It has camera movements and positions, which are distracting. I never realized how intricate that sequence was until I saw it spelled out. It's a compelling battle sequence, but I think in that level of detail, it's sometimes hard to keep track of everything that's going on. Also, Lucas seems to use the names "Piggy", "Porkins" and "Blue Pig" interchangably for the fat pilot.

The big difference between this draft and the final product is how much more developed Luke's relationship with Biggs is. Lucas was probably wise to cut the scenes out because otherwise it's another 3-4 scenes until we meet Obi Wan, and thereby getting into the actual story. We already know Luke wants to get off the planet. We don't need more scenes of him talking about it with a friend. The only thing it does is personalize the rebellion for Luke, as Biggs confesses in secret that he plans to join. But, this is unnecessary because when the empire kills the only family he has, the battle is personal enough.

The Adventures of Luke Skywalker as taken from the "Journal of the Whills" - Saga 1: STAR WARS http://www.mypdfscripts.com/screenplays/star-wars-1976-03-15-draft

Day 21 - It's cool

2009-11-09T22:27:00.000-08:00

Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day by Troy Duffy

The big thing to learn from this is that it's possible to be too cool. Too many characters know just what to say all the time; Too many people are just too cool. You can have one or two characters that are clever and funny, but when every is dropping bon mot's, everyone's just seem too contrived. Tarantino is probably the root cause of this because all of his characters sound cool, but they all sound different. They're not all clever and quirky; individual, yes - Smooth talkers, not always.

Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day http://www.mypdfscripts.com/screenplays/the-boondock-saints-ii-all-saints-day

Day 20 - Reaction time is a factor

2009-11-07T20:42:00.000-08:00

Blade Runner (Early Draft) by Hampton Fancher

Well, there are two big things to discuss with this early draft. The descroptions are perfect. there are no "We see"s or camera movements, but you see it all with the text. He draws you from detail to detail without taking you out of the story.

The other big thing is big mistake of this draft is not making the replicants (or androids) likable. You like Rachel, but she when she learns she's a machine, she doesn't even question it. She just goes with it. In the later drafts where she tries to convince Deckard that she's human, are some of the best scenes in the movie. Next, Batty doesn't save Deckard at the end, you don't have that moment where you really feel for Batty.

http://www.mypdfscripts.com/screenplays/blade-runner-1980-07-24-draft

Day 19 - Do you know what time it is?

2009-11-06T22:46:00.000-08:00

24 "Pilot" - Joel Surnow and Robert Cochran

So, my trip through TV scripts continues. It's really amazing how fast this pilot moves. You find out everything you need to know about Jack Bauer in this hour of TV. It's start off at home - he's family man trying to put his family back together. Next CTU - he may have had an affair with a woman he works with. He turned in coworkers, even though he knew it would hurt his career. He tranq'd a superior in order to buy time to get information to blackmail him with.
We learn that JAck Bauer is willing to bend the rules for the right reasons, but will not countenance someone breaking them for the wrong reasons.
The other thing is that they don't have the big clock at the act breaks, instead are forced shots showing clocks in a room, or phone recordings stating the time. I think this would have felt forced, whereas the clock at the commercial breaks with the split screen works well, and reminds us that other things are going on while this is happening.
This may actually be why this series has survived so well. When one story waxes, the other wane. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Jack still has to deal with family stuff, while he's trying to prevent an assassination. In the later seasons, we even see the villains family lives, giving us a much more well rounded story then if we just saw Jack, and he didn't have a family or friends and he just was solving the mystery.

Day 18 - Mother, tell you children not hear my words; What they mean; What they say. Mother.

2009-11-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

Alias "The Enemy Walks in" by J.J. Abrams

This is a weird episode, because it moves the story forward, but because it was the first episode of season 2 (and they were hoping for new viewers) there was A LOT of recap. But, what they did that was smart was some of it was done by Sydney talking to her CIA therapist and mixed in with new action. I guess the thing I learned was if you have to have a huge amount of exposition (some of it not new to the audience) mix it into the action and parse it out. Don't try to do it all at once.

Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow and I'll do a better post then

Day 17 - You don't have Jack!

2009-11-04T18:21:00.000-08:00

Big Trouble in Little China II (Unproduced MOW) by Charles Prosser

Wow, that sucked. I was superexcited to read it too. I guess this biggest problem here is NO JACK BURTON. That's right, no Pork Chop Express and no Jack Burton. I just saw the original last night, and the biggest thing I noticed was how the crowd reacted to Jack Burton. They loved him. His character is what makes the movie. The reason I wanted to read this script was that I wanted to see what happened next with Jack. I guess the big thing I learned reading this is when you create a character people love, don't do a sequel without him. This is probably why this was never made. Egg Shen is not enough to bring me back.
The other good thing about this script is that it explicitly sets out the 7 acts breaks and the hour break, so if I ever want to know how to structure a MOW, I guess I'll look at this.

Big Trouble in Little China II http://www.mypdfscripts.com/unproduced/big-trouble-in-little-china-2

Day 16 - Live from the Pork Chop Express!!!

2009-11-03T21:30:00.000-08:00

True Romance by Quentin Tarantino

Well, I'm sitting here in the New Bev waiting for the "Big Trouble in Little China" and "They Live!" double feature, and I thought I would take this opportunity to try out my blog app ( name escapes me) instead of using "Notes" and then emailing to myself and posting when I get home.
So here we go:
Elvis- the use of Elvis is brilliant. The first time Clarence mentions him, he talks about, while he's not gay, he would totally have sex with the King. He wears Elvis sunglasses. Now QT could have used voiceover to illustrate Clarence's inner thoughts, but instead he decided to personify this inner dialogue. And after we see Clarence's obvious obsession with the King, it makes perfect sense that this would be the sounding board he would use. Sort of a WWED? He tells Clarence to ok to kill Drexel. He gives Clarence that extra bit of confidence to get him through the drug deal. He is that voice that all we need from time to time.
The most amazing part of this, is that I never once thought that Clarence was crazy. Sure he married a prostitute, killed her pimp and talked to the ghost of Elvis; but, his sanity never seems to be questioned. Clarence just seems like a hopeless romantic with a vivid fantasy life.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 15 - You did what to my mom!?!?!

2009-11-02T20:28:00.000-08:00

Man on Fire by Brian Helgeland

I love this movie. But, it would have been ruined if they had made the mistake of the script. In this draft Crease has sex with Pinta's mom (Lisa). While it made sense in the story and added a scene where Lisa wanted Crease fired, the audience would have ended up not liking Crease nearly as much. That's the whole point of the the first half of the movie is Crease's redemption. If he sleeps with Lisa, than he isn't redeemed. It's almost disrespectful to Pinta.
This is a mistake I made in a draft of a screenplay a while back. I wanted the hero to get drunk and cheat on his wife to show he had hit rock bottom. A friend told me that she wouldn't be able to like him again if he did this. And after about 2 drafts of that sequence, I realized she was right. So, now he comes close and then realizes what he'd be giving up.

Man on Fire - http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/manonfire.pdf

Day 14 - What a novel treatment

2009-11-01T17:33:00.000-08:00

Brick (treatment/novella) - Rian Johnson

Since November is National Novel Writing Month (http://www.nanowrimo.org/), I thought I would take a quick look at the Brick treatment. In a preface he talks about the reaosn he wanted to do it this way was because he was intentionally trying to get a Dashiell Hammett feel and he thought a prose pass would be the best way to do it. I think it worked. I wish I had read it prior to seeing the film, but the tone is there as is most of the unique dialogue traits. The treatment is 76 pages long, so it's way longer than a traditionally treatment, but for a project like this that relies so much on tone and feel, it's was probably the way to go.
I had never really thought about using a treatment like that. I had always thought they were tools for getting the story out. Sorta like a fleshed out outline. But, this is something more, this allowed Johnson to get the the feel of the story. So, now I'm wondering if I should be using this as a way to get into the story. Since it is National Novel Writing Month, I'm seriously considering trying to write one of my scripts as a novella, just to get the tone and feel right. If nothing else it would be an interesting experiment.

Brick (Novella/Treatment/Screenplay): http://www.mypdfscripts.com/treatments/brick-treatmentnovella

Day 13 - You say Zombies! We say Where?

2009-10-31T18:15:00.000-07:00

Planet Terror - Robert Rodriguez

I'm kinda running late so this is going to be another abbreviated post. I bought the Grindhouse making of book, which has both Planet Terror and Machete (trailer) screenplays (not Death Proof, which was sold separately thanks a lot QT). I guess the big thing about this is conventions again. Nothing has to be all that deep in a grindhouse movie. I like the the Machete screenplay because it set the tone for the Planet Terror. In both neither one was taken all that seriously, but they took the genre seriously. They didn't make fun of grindhouse films or their audiences. They're not parodies, they're homages. The crappy effects and stilted dialogue isn't making of the genre, it is the genre.
I guess that's the most important thing. When you're making a movie like this don't make fun of the genre or the audience.

On a complete sidenote - when are they going to release Grindhouse on DVD/Bluray they way it was intended? I know they release the separate movies, but I want it all on one disc with the trailers inbetween.

Planet Terror -

Day 12 - My day at the Mini dealership.

2009-10-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

About a Boy

So, I'm writing this entry on my iPhone while I wait for the brakes on my Mini to be replaced.
The thing that struck me in this script was the use of narration by multiple charcters. Right now, in my DayQuil addled brain, I can't really think of another script in which the two main characters both narrated.

The story is Will's story, but Marcus' story definitely informs Will's. Both stories are about the characters maturing. The voiceovers work well in showing that, especially with Will's internal battle to keep from I think this works best when it emphasizes the fact that while they are talking about one thing they are thinking something completely different.

Now that I think about it, I think some romcoms have done it, but not like this. If you can think of any let me know.

I'm still looking for it online

Day 11 - Do we have to invite everyone to the wedding?

2009-10-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men From Mars - Jeb Stuart

Apparently, George Lucas must have really wanted to do a alien story for Indy. This is one is head and shoulder better than the other 2. At least in this one, we know the artifact is alien from the moment it's discovered.
This is a decent story. The part I don't like is that at the wedding everyone is there. Henry, Willie, Marion and even Short Round makes a brief apparence. While, it's nice to see these old friends, it seems forced. I find it hard to believe that Indy's love interests would not only both come to see him marry someone else, but also be, apparently, really good friends. I guess the thing I learned from that is, even though we love the characters, don't force them into places they don't belong.
Also, the action in this is heavily stylized and as a result, some of the action ends up in the dialogue field by accident. This is extremely disorienting at times. Which has shown me why a quick a proofread is always a good idea. If you can get someone else to do it, all the better.

And, of course, it uses the same nuclear bomb test/refrigerator set piece as the other two.

Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men From Mars: http://www.mypdfscripts.com/unproduced/indiana-jones-and-the-saucer-men-from-mars

Day 10 - I'm hooked on a feelin'

2009-10-28T20:19:00.000-07:00

Indiana Jones and the Monkey King - Christopher Columbus

Ok, so this is way better than Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods and Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull put together. It just has that Indy feeling that the those other two are missing. It was supposed to be Indiana Jones III, and it owuld have fit well there, but it has a similar goal (something that gives it's user eternal life) as the Last Crusade.
Now, on the writing. This script illustrated a couple of the stylistic things that different instructors talked about in their seminars.

1) We hear: A couple of the seminar instructors talked about avoiding phrases like "We see" and "we hear". In Monkey King there is a ghost story as the opening and Columbus is building tension then suddenly "We hear the distant, MANIACAL LAUGH of a man." It takes us completely out of the story and reminds us that we are reading and not experiencing the story. He could have just as easily done "The MANIACAL LAUGH of man, can be heard in the distance" or something a little more artful, but you get the point.

2) Transliteration: One of the dialogue instructors told the class never to transliterate (e.g: sound out for accents, dropping the "g" on words, etc.) dialogue. He said it was insulting to the actors, who are just going to do whatever they want. I guess I can see his point, but I think he's missing an inmportant point. This is being read first, then performed. I think transliteration allows the reader to get fuller experience of the character.

3) Huge blocks of action: This script has A LOT of action, sometimes for pages with little to no dialogue. I have to be honest, even though it was exciting, my eyes glazed over when I saw a page of action.

That's all for today. Tomorrow will conclude my look at the unproduced Indiana Jones scripts.

Indiana Jones and the Monkey King: http://www.mypdfscripts.com/unproduced/indiana-jones-and-the-monkey-king-aka-indiana-jones-iii

Day 9 - Sometime's it's better to leave the past in the past.

2009-10-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods - Frank Darabont (Story by George Lucas)

So, I found this script in the unproduced section of mypdfscripts.com. I figured it was another option for Indy 4. It's essientially the same story as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (credited to David Koepp ). The biggest difference is that Indy's son "Mutt" is nowhere to be found in this version. In this version Marion is married to some Baron, who of course turns out to be a spy. The Nazi's make a brief apparence. All in all, I think I would have preferred this version, but it still wouldn't have been great. The ending is too much like Raiders.

The one way in which the script does succeed is that it brings Marion in, slightly earlier and we get more of their back and forth. I think the problem with this movie is that it's not based in what we are used to. Indiana Jones movies, up to this point, have been about religion. A higher power, and this one seems to imply that there is no higher power at work in this story. This long since dead culture worshipped aliens. The other films were rooted in the spiritual and mystical. We don't know why Ark melts peoples faces; We don't know why the Sankara stones do, what ever is, they do; we don't know why if you drink from the right grail you get eternal life and the wrong grail immediate aging. We take it on faith. At the end this however, everything is explained (pretty much).

I guess the main thing I got out of this is no matter how much you rewrite something, even if you bring in two of the best screenwriters in Hollywood, sometimes you just have a bad idea. Now with enough effort and money, you can make a bad idea, passible. But, you can never make a bad idea great, and somehow we need to figure out what ideas are worth spending out time on.

Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods: http://www.sendspace.com/file/dq6oaz

Day 8 - It's the same, but different

2009-10-26T13:08:00.000-07:00

Back to the Future -Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale

I was looking through my Google reader and found out that this concept had been done before! http://www.gointothestory.com/2009/10/14-days-of-screenplays-version-30.html . But, as we all know, all the good idea in Hollywood have already been taken. I could have been depressed about this, but instead I'm using this as an opportunity. The owner of that blog has sold screenplays and is a screenwriting professor. So, now when I am at a loss for what to read next, I need only go to his page and there is a list of 28 scripts from the 2 previous times he's done this.

So today I read the first script from the first "14 days of screenplays", Back to the Future. I read a later draft, because it was in .pdf and not .html.

The thing I was struck by when I read it (which is the exact same thing I noticed when I went to the BTTF trilogy last summer) was how fast it moves. It's a relatively long script at 147 pages, but it never drags. All of the scenes have an intensity and urgency that keep the script moving the whole time. There are no wasted character scenes or monologues. It doesn't get bogged down in science. It just tells the story and that's it.

I'm going to try and remember this as I go through the heist movie I'm working. I have tendency to get caught up in clever scenes to the detriment of pacing.

Back to the Future: http://www.sendspace.com/file/om3ilf

Day 7 - I'm going to give you the treatment

2009-10-25T23:28:00.000-07:00

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (treatment) - Simon Kinberg

I'm never sure how long a treatment should be or in how much detail, so from time I'm going to do a post about treatments. There really isn't much to say about this treatment.

First and foremost it's 8 pages long. As far as I can tell this on the short side. It's organized in sections.

The first section is called "Overview" - this section basically sets out the basic premise of the story and sets out the genres the story will involve.

The next section is "Character Set Up" - This isn't unseen backstory, but the facts that happen before the story really begins (i.e. how they met, they lie about their jobs as assassins, etc).

Next is "Story" - That's pretty self explanatory. It's sets the story out pretty well, but it's vague enough to allow for massaging during the writing process. There are changes from this treatment to the actual movie. All the major plot points are here, as well as flourishes to give the reader a sense of the tone of the story.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (treatment) - http://www.sendspace.com/file/rdkdf5

Day 6 - It's all about timing

2009-10-24T10:47:00.000-07:00

Asylum - by Andrew Kevin Walker with revisions by Akiva Goldsman

It's Saturday, so I thought I'd read a fun script. I stumbled upon Asylum (aka: Batman vs. Superman). This script was dated 6/21/02. So this was 5 years after Batman and Robin and 3 years before Batman Begins. At this point in time this could never be produced because as the Joker said in The Dark Knight "Those mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were. But I know the truth - there's no going back. You've changed things. Forever." This script is very comic booky. It would fit well after Batman and Robin, obviously it's way better and is foreshadowing of the darkness the the Nolan films. There are many problems is that many of the important events of the script don't seem like they could fit into this new Batman world.

THIS SECTION OF THE POST CONTAINS MAJOR PLOT POINTS

It's hard to imagine a way that Robin could fit into the world that Nolan has created. The Nolan Batman would never adopt an orphan and train him to fight crime. We see in The Dark Knight the lack of respect he has for other people trying to follow him into crime fighting. Also, the Nolan Batman lives in the real world, and the cloning of the Joker and him being the exact same with the same personality, and possibly memories. But, I think the most unbelievable part is the existence of Superman. Batman exists in the real world and Superman just doesn't fit.

END SPOILERS

When Christopher Nolan made his Batman he chnaged the game. Batman can't fight weird costumed characters, everything has to be rooted in reality. Even his Joker, his Scarecrow are rooted in reality. They may be weird - but they're at least possible. Toymaker may be able to exist. Lex Luthor in a robotic exo-suit could exist. Superman can't. It violates the rules that Nolan put into place. This is the real world. Superman exists in fantasy.

I guess the lesson I took out of this is when you ake choices about your world, you're eliminating other things you can do. If you have a real world, a man can't fly. If you have a fantasy world, even based in reality, then the things that can happen are greater, but then your audience has to suspend even more disbelief.

Asylum: http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/asylum.pdf

Day 5 - Using Conventions I Learned at the Convention to Solve Problems

2009-10-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

My first post was about the use of voice over. This movie breaks most of the rules about the good use voice over.

But first I'm going to tell you a quick story. Last weekend I saw William Goldman speak. A person asked him the question: "Tell about time you were stuck writing and how solved the problem." Goldman told the story about when he started writing the book (I presume) for The Princess Bride, he had all these great ideas but he couldn't figure out how to string everything together. Then he realized that he wasn't the one writing the story Morgenstern wrote the story and his father had told him the story. When you're working with an oral story, not everything fist together perfectly. Details are forgotten. Details are embelished. It doesn't matter what the actual story is.

In the film version, the story is read by the grandfather, who skips parts at the request of the grandson and takes breaks. We accept the fact that not everything is going to be there, because we've been there. We've been the kid listening to the story begging the reader to get to the good parts, and we've been the storyteller trying to keep the kid interested.

Because of conventions we not only accept it but we expect it, and the fact that all the story isn't there makes the story more believable.

In one of my screenplays I have a problem with exposition. It needs to get out, but the way I had initally was way too obvious. then I realized, one of the conventions of the heist genre is that the cops always talk about the history of the criminals. If I have them do it, it makes sense and the audience is expecting it.

When I'm blocked the next time I'm going to remember this story and try to figure out a different way to get to where I need to be, and maybe use the conventions of the genre to solve the problem.

The Princess Bride - http://www.sendspace.com/file/91i86u

Day 4 - You're on my schedule now!

2009-10-22T17:09:00.000-07:00

From Dusk 'Till Dawn by Quentin Tarantino

Now when I think about From Dusk 'Till Dawn I think about the vampires. If you ask the average person what From Dusk 'Till Dawn is about they'll focus on the vampires. But the vampires don't show up (in the book I have) until page 108 of 159. So essentially the story doesn't really start until 2/3 of the way through the script. Now that's not 2/3rds of the way through the movie, as that last 3rd is mostly action while the first 2/3rds are predominately dialogue.

My initial intention was to talk about mixing genres, but that's not really what happens here. It's not like Zombieland or Shaun of the Dead or something like that where you are mixing horror and comedy. There is no mixing; it's like oil and water. These are two separate stories with the same characters. The first story definitely informs the second, but the second could easily stand on it's own. If need be you could start this movie when the RV enters the parking lot for the Titty Twister and be able to figure out rather quickly who the characters were and how they related to one another.

I'm trying to figure the structure of it. It seems like it either has 2 second acts or, my personal theory, it's actually two movies. It's almost as if you have a movie and it's sequel all in one.

You could argue that the movie has two second acts. The first one beginning when they kidnap Jacob and his family and the second 2nd act beginning when they get to the Titty twister.

The problem is that the Vampire sequence fits so well into a 3 act structure. The first act is when they enter the Titty Twister up to when the vampires appear. The second act ends at the low point, when Jacob gets bit (this also just after his character makes that all important second act decision to move the story forward when he decides not be a faithless preacher but instead to be a "mean, motherfucking servant of God". The third act is when they go out and fight the vampires."

The first part would break up roughly as - Act 1: Up to when they get to the hotel; Act 2: After the kidnap Jacob and his family, up to the border (when Scott wants to turn the Gecko's in); Act 3: From when the border guards come on the RV to the point when they get to the Titty Twister.

Seth being the main character, his primary question in the first part is: How do I get me and my brother out of the country. When they get to the Titty Twister, the question is: How do I survive the night.

I don't know. I feel like I'm rambling at this point. If you have any ideas let me know.

From Dusk 'Till Dawn: http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/From-Dusk-Till-Dawn.html

Day 3 - I want action tonight!

2009-10-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

The Dark Knight by Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that The Dark Knight should have won all the major awards (Original Screenplay, Direction, Picture, Cinematography) at last years Oscars. The screenplay itself is long, but never drags like the movie. The reason I selected this script is because I was curious as to how detailed the action sequences were, specifically the prisoner transport sequence as I have a sequence in one of my scripts where a semi-truck is hijacked. The answer is incredibly detailed. It even uses separate scene headings for each location (i.e. Batmobile, Joker's truck, etc.). I had expected one big location (Lower 5th) and then maybe locations in the action, but that wasn't the case. The action lines themselves are terse, but spell out almost every significant action on the screen. It describes all of the action, but doesn't waste words on needless description. Chances are that when I get to rewriting the third act of my script I'm probably going to be using this scene as the template for how I'm going to organize the writing of sequence.

I am probably going to revisit this script later on in the month as I could have probably spent a week writing on this script alone.

The Dark Night http://www.script-o-rama.com/snazzy/dircut.html

Day 2 - That's great, but can you open?

2009-10-20T20:11:00.000-07:00

Way of the Gun by Christoper McQuarrie

I love the opening of this movie. In the first scene you find out everything you need to know about the main characters (Parker and Longbaugh). The script opens with them leaning on a random car setting off the alarm. A hipster, his smartass girlfriend and his friends come out. Parker and Longbaugh aren't looking for a fight but they're not going to back down either. The girlfriend keeps saying things to rile Parker and Longbaugh, so when the inevitable fight happens Parker dodges the hipster's punch and punches the girlfriend breaking her nose. After this they proceed to get their asses kicked by the hipster's friends. This shows us that our heroes are really anti-heroes - morally grey and not above hitting a girl.

The opening scene as shot is similar but a little different and actually funnier:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xsaMcw69D8

Another thing that's interesting about the screenplay is that after this scene it goes into a sequence that no one could ever expect to make it into the film, but it informs the tone of the story and the backstory of the characters, but isn't really necessary, but makes for a fun read.

This movie is worth it for the opening alone, and it shows the power of a strong opening. I would have long forgotten about this movie, if it wasn't for Sarah Silverman getting her nose broken in the opening. That's not to say the rest of the script isn't great, because it is, but without that opening I'm not sure I would have gone back to read it as part of the 30 days, but whenever I think of a strong opening it's this movie and Silence of the Lambs as the films I use as examples of openings that really inform character. Silence opens with Starling running through the obsticle course, when she gets the call. She gets into an elevator and she is surrounded by men who are all head and shoulders taller than her.

Oddly enough yesterday and today's script have both featured Benecio Del Toro in the opening sequence.

Way of the Gun: http://www.sendspace.com/file/bvj12b

Day 1 - Did you hear that or was it just in my head?

2009-10-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

Snatch by Guy Ritchie

So the first script for my project was Snatch. The thing I wanted to focus on was the use voice overs. Throughout the entire script the main character Turkish, narrates portions of the action. The voice overs are used mostly to add information to scenes, not give completely new information. It's all in Turkish's character. The script starts with Turkish's voice over talking about where every thing is going to end up. The first the key to why the voice over works in this movie, is that it's Turkish narrating the events after they've already happened, so if he's giving us new information, it's not new to him so there's a good reason for him to know it. The second reason is that movie would still work.

And, I think that's why voice over is not the answer for one of my screenplays. If it's not working without it, I don't think it will ever be the answer. While it's a great way to get your characters inner feelings out, it's no substitute for things actually happening.

The other thing that I will be taking out of the reading is way Guy Ritchie gives all of his charcters, even if they're throwaway charcters in one scene, a specific voice. He knows each and every one of them and makes sure that all sound like themselves.

Guy Ritchie will always be one of the writers I'll want to emulate. His movies have dark topics (murder, theft), but the movies themselves are unbelievably fun.

Snatch by Guy Ritchie: http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/snatch.pdf

Day 0 - 30 Scripts in 30 Days

2009-10-18T23:50:00.000-07:00

I just spent the last 3 days in downtown LA at Screenwriting Expo 2009, trying to learn about craft and pitching my scripts to agencies. I realized after a few seminars that my neither of the scripts I was pitching were ready. But, I got some good ideas as to where I am going to be taking at least one of them. The big thing that a lot of the seminars emphasized was that I should be reading more scripts. I'm not a huge reader, but I read. Mostly graphic novels, and the Bible, but I haven't been reading a lot of scripts recently. So, I've decided to read 30 scripts in 30 days and then blog about it as I go. My theory being that if I have a deadline and I make it public, it will make me finish. Theoretically, it's not going to be reviews of scripts as much as it's going to be why I picked it and sort of how it fits into to either what I'm working on or how it's going to effect my writing. Wherever possible, I'll put a link to the script so other can read and comment.

Wish me luck.

GI Joe

2009-08-15T14:36:00.000-07:00

So, I went and saw GI Joe last week. While the story was interesting, I couldn't get past the terrible dialog and exposition in then screenplay. you might ask for examples - Fine, EXAMPLE 1 - Fighter Pilot being shot down "OH MY GOSH!!!!!!" Now, I'm not a fighter pilot, nor have I ever experienced that my moment just before death, knowing I was going to die, but I'm pretty sure "gosh" would never even cross my mind. EXAMPLE 2 is a little more amorphous, in that basically we get the EXACT SAME information about how the bad guys find the GI Joe base from two characters 5 minutes apart. It's as if no one had a copy of the script on them and they couldn't remember if they had explained this before, so they decided to cover their bases. There is also A LOT of backstory. Some necessary, some not. All way too long.

That being said, it's not all bad. I mean Rachel Nichols is in it, so I'm predisposed to like it. But, Joseph Gordon Levitt, WTF?!?!?!? This movie and the level of your performance could not be any more different if you tried. I know it had to be difficult acting behind the mask, but even when he was just normal, it was off. Maybe it was that he had more talent than everyone on the screen, my first instinct was that he was just phoning it in. But, that runs in the face of everything I've heard about him from people who have worked with him. My guess is that he just didn't have the experience to play a broad, poorly written character, having played mostly nuanced smaller characters in considerably better written films ["(500) Days of Summer", "Brick"]

Yet still, I look forward to GI Joe II, as there will be less backstory and hopefully a couple more rewrites on the script.

Curling

2009-08-10T22:41:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday night my curling team won the summer curling league the way we won every match this season - singing, dancing and a hell of a lot of luck.

Unemployment

2009-08-10T22:39:00.000-07:00

So, I figured with all this extra time on my hands I'm going to start writing a blog. Hopefully, this will actually stick this time.