Day 13 - You say Zombies! We say Where?

Planet Terror - Robert Rodriguez

I'm kinda running late so this is going to be another abbreviated post.  I bought the Grindhouse making of book, which has both Planet Terror and Machete (trailer) screenplays (not Death Proof, which was sold separately thanks a lot QT).  I guess the big thing about this is conventions again.  Nothing has to be all that deep in a grindhouse movie.  I like the the Machete  screenplay because it set the tone for the Planet Terror.  In both neither one was taken all that seriously, but they took the genre seriously.  They didn't make fun of grindhouse films or their audiences.  They're not parodies, they're homages.  The crappy effects and stilted dialogue isn't making of the genre, it is the genre.
I guess that's the most important thing.  When you're making a movie like this don't make fun of the genre or the audience.

On a complete sidenote - when are they going to release Grindhouse on DVD/Bluray they way it was intended?  I know they release the separate movies, but I want it all on one disc with the trailers inbetween.

Planet Terror -

Day 12 - My day at the Mini dealership.

About a Boy

So, I'm writing this entry on my iPhone while I wait for the brakes on my Mini to be replaced.
The thing that struck me in this script was the use of narration by multiple charcters.  Right now, in my DayQuil addled brain, I can't really think of another script in which the two main characters both narrated.

The story is Will's story, but Marcus' story definitely informs Will's.  Both stories are about the characters maturing.  The voiceovers work well in showing that, especially with Will's internal battle to keep from I think this works best when it emphasizes the fact that while they are talking about one thing they are thinking something completely different.

Now that I think about it, I think some romcoms have done it, but not like this.  If you can think of any let me know.




I'm still looking for it online

Day 11 - Do we have to invite everyone to the wedding?

Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men From Mars - Jeb Stuart

Apparently, George Lucas must have really wanted to do a alien story for Indy.  This is one is head and shoulder better than the other 2.  At least in this one, we know the artifact is alien from the moment it's discovered.
This is a decent story.  The part I don't like is that at the wedding everyone is there.  Henry, Willie, Marion and even Short Round makes a brief apparence.  While, it's nice to see these old friends, it seems forced.  I find it hard to believe that Indy's love interests would not only both come to see him marry someone else, but also be, apparently, really good friends.  I guess the thing I learned from that is, even though we love the characters, don't force them into places they don't belong.
Also, the action in this is heavily stylized and as a result, some of the action ends up in the dialogue field by accident.  This is extremely disorienting at times.  Which has shown me why a quick a proofread is always a good idea.  If you can get someone else to do it, all the better.

And, of course, it uses the same nuclear bomb test/refrigerator set piece as the other two.

Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men From Mars: http://www.mypdfscripts.com/unproduced/indiana-jones-and-the-saucer-men-from-mars

Day 10 - I'm hooked on a feelin'

Indiana Jones and the Monkey King - Christopher Columbus

Ok, so this is way better than Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods and Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull put together.  It just has that Indy feeling that the those other two are missing.  It was supposed to be Indiana Jones III, and it owuld have fit well there, but it has a similar goal (something that gives it's user eternal life) as the Last Crusade.
Now, on the writing.  This script illustrated a couple of the stylistic things that different instructors talked about in their seminars.

1) We hear: A couple of the seminar instructors talked about avoiding phrases like "We see" and "we hear".  In Monkey King there is a ghost story as the opening and Columbus is building tension then suddenly "We hear the distant, MANIACAL LAUGH of a man."  It takes us completely out of the story and reminds us that we are reading and not experiencing the story.  He could have just as easily done "The MANIACAL LAUGH of man, can be heard in the distance" or something a little more artful, but you get the point.

2) Transliteration: One of the dialogue instructors told the class never to transliterate (e.g: sound out for accents, dropping the "g" on words, etc.) dialogue.  He said it was insulting to the actors, who are just going to do whatever they want.  I guess I can see his point, but I think he's missing an inmportant point.  This is being read first, then performed.  I think transliteration allows the reader to get fuller experience of the character.

3) Huge blocks of action:  This script has A LOT of action, sometimes for pages with little to no dialogue.  I have to be honest, even though it was exciting, my eyes glazed over when I saw a page of action.

That's all for today.  Tomorrow will conclude my look at the unproduced Indiana Jones scripts.

Indiana Jones and the Monkey King: http://www.mypdfscripts.com/unproduced/indiana-jones-and-the-monkey-king-aka-indiana-jones-iii

Day 9 - Sometime's it's better to leave the past in the past.

Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods - Frank Darabont (Story by George Lucas)

So, I found this script in the unproduced section of mypdfscripts.com. I figured it was another option for Indy 4. It's essientially the same story as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (credited to David Koepp ). The biggest difference is that Indy's son "Mutt" is nowhere to be found in this version. In this version Marion is married to some Baron, who of course turns out to be a spy. The Nazi's make a brief apparence. All in all, I think I would have preferred this version, but it still wouldn't have been great. The ending is too much like Raiders.

The one way in which the script does succeed is that it brings Marion in, slightly earlier and we get more of their back and forth. I think the problem with this movie is that it's not based in what we are used to. Indiana Jones movies, up to this point, have been about religion. A higher power, and this one seems to imply that there is no higher power at work in this story. This long since dead culture worshipped aliens. The other films were rooted in the spiritual and mystical. We don't know why Ark melts peoples faces; We don't know why the Sankara stones do, what ever is, they do; we don't know why if you drink from the right grail you get eternal life and the wrong grail immediate aging. We take it on faith. At the end this however, everything is explained (pretty much).

I guess the main thing I got out of this is no matter how much you rewrite something, even if you bring in two of the best screenwriters in Hollywood, sometimes you just have a bad idea. Now with enough effort and money, you can make a bad idea, passible. But, you can never make a bad idea great, and somehow we need to figure out what ideas are worth spending out time on.

Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods: http://www.sendspace.com/file/dq6oaz

Day 8 - It's the same, but different

Back to the Future -Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale

I was looking through my Google reader and found out that this concept had been done before! http://www.gointothestory.com/2009/10/14-days-of-screenplays-version-30.html . But, as we all know, all the good idea in Hollywood have already been taken. I could have been depressed about this, but instead I'm using this as an opportunity. The owner of that blog has sold screenplays and is a screenwriting professor. So, now when I am at a loss for what to read next, I need only go to his page and there is a list of 28 scripts from the 2 previous times he's done this.

So today I read the first script from the first "14 days of screenplays", Back to the Future. I read a later draft, because it was in .pdf and not .html.

The thing I was struck by when I read it (which is the exact same thing I noticed when I went to the BTTF trilogy last summer) was how fast it moves. It's a relatively long script at 147 pages, but it never drags. All of the scenes have an intensity and urgency that keep the script moving the whole time. There are no wasted character scenes or monologues. It doesn't get bogged down in science. It just tells the story and that's it.

I'm going to try and remember this as I go through the heist movie I'm working. I have tendency to get caught up in clever scenes to the detriment of pacing.

Back to the Future: http://www.sendspace.com/file/om3ilf

Day 7 - I'm going to give you the treatment

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (treatment) - Simon Kinberg

I'm never sure how long a treatment should be or in how much detail, so from time I'm going to do a post about treatments. There really isn't much to say about this treatment.

First and foremost it's 8 pages long. As far as I can tell this on the short side. It's organized in sections.

The first section is called "Overview" - this section basically sets out the basic premise of the story and sets out the genres the story will involve.

The next section is "Character Set Up" - This isn't unseen backstory, but the facts that happen before the story really begins (i.e. how they met, they lie about their jobs as assassins, etc).

Next is "Story" - That's pretty self explanatory. It's sets the story out pretty well, but it's vague enough to allow for massaging during the writing process. There are changes from this treatment to the actual movie. All the major plot points are here, as well as flourishes to give the reader a sense of the tone of the story.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (treatment) - http://www.sendspace.com/file/rdkdf5

Day 6 - It's all about timing

Asylum - by Andrew Kevin Walker with revisions by Akiva Goldsman

It's Saturday, so I thought I'd read a fun script. I stumbled upon Asylum (aka: Batman vs. Superman). This script was dated 6/21/02. So this was 5 years after Batman and Robin and 3 years before Batman Begins. At this point in time this could never be produced because as the Joker said in The Dark Knight "Those mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were. But I know the truth - there's no going back. You've changed things. Forever." This script is very comic booky. It would fit well after Batman and Robin, obviously it's way better and is foreshadowing of the darkness the the Nolan films. There are many problems is that many of the important events of the script don't seem like they could fit into this new Batman world.

THIS SECTION OF THE POST CONTAINS MAJOR PLOT POINTS

It's hard to imagine a way that Robin could fit into the world that Nolan has created. The Nolan Batman would never adopt an orphan and train him to fight crime. We see in The Dark Knight the lack of respect he has for other people trying to follow him into crime fighting. Also, the Nolan Batman lives in the real world, and the cloning of the Joker and him being the exact same with the same personality, and possibly memories. But, I think the most unbelievable part is the existence of Superman. Batman exists in the real world and Superman just doesn't fit.

END SPOILERS

When Christopher Nolan made his Batman he chnaged the game. Batman can't fight weird costumed characters, everything has to be rooted in reality. Even his Joker, his Scarecrow are rooted in reality. They may be weird - but they're at least possible. Toymaker may be able to exist. Lex Luthor in a robotic exo-suit could exist. Superman can't. It violates the rules that Nolan put into place. This is the real world. Superman exists in fantasy.

I guess the lesson I took out of this is when you ake choices about your world, you're eliminating other things you can do. If you have a real world, a man can't fly. If you have a fantasy world, even based in reality, then the things that can happen are greater, but then your audience has to suspend even more disbelief.

Asylum: http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/asylum.pdf

Day 5 - Using Conventions I Learned at the Convention to Solve Problems

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

My first post was about the use of voice over. This movie breaks most of the rules about the good use voice over.

But first I'm going to tell you a quick story. Last weekend I saw William Goldman speak. A person asked him the question: "Tell about time you were stuck writing and how solved the problem." Goldman told the story about when he started writing the book (I presume) for The Princess Bride, he had all these great ideas but he couldn't figure out how to string everything together. Then he realized that he wasn't the one writing the story Morgenstern wrote the story and his father had told him the story. When you're working with an oral story, not everything fist together perfectly. Details are forgotten. Details are embelished. It doesn't matter what the actual story is.

In the film version, the story is read by the grandfather, who skips parts at the request of the grandson and takes breaks. We accept the fact that not everything is going to be there, because we've been there. We've been the kid listening to the story begging the reader to get to the good parts, and we've been the storyteller trying to keep the kid interested.

Because of conventions we not only accept it but we expect it, and the fact that all the story isn't there makes the story more believable.

In one of my screenplays I have a problem with exposition. It needs to get out, but the way I had initally was way too obvious. then I realized, one of the conventions of the heist genre is that the cops always talk about the history of the criminals. If I have them do it, it makes sense and the audience is expecting it.

When I'm blocked the next time I'm going to remember this story and try to figure out a different way to get to where I need to be, and maybe use the conventions of the genre to solve the problem.

The Princess Bride - http://www.sendspace.com/file/91i86u

Day 4 - You're on my schedule now!

From Dusk 'Till Dawn by Quentin Tarantino

Now when I think about From Dusk 'Till Dawn I think about the vampires. If you ask the average person what From Dusk 'Till Dawn is about they'll focus on the vampires. But the vampires don't show up (in the book I have) until page 108 of 159. So essentially the story doesn't really start until 2/3 of the way through the script. Now that's not 2/3rds of the way through the movie, as that last 3rd is mostly action while the first 2/3rds are predominately dialogue.

My initial intention was to talk about mixing genres, but that's not really what happens here. It's not like Zombieland or Shaun of the Dead or something like that where you are mixing horror and comedy. There is no mixing; it's like oil and water. These are two separate stories with the same characters. The first story definitely informs the second, but the second could easily stand on it's own. If need be you could start this movie when the RV enters the parking lot for the Titty Twister and be able to figure out rather quickly who the characters were and how they related to one another.

I'm trying to figure the structure of it. It seems like it either has 2 second acts or, my personal theory, it's actually two movies. It's almost as if you have a movie and it's sequel all in one.

You could argue that the movie has two second acts. The first one beginning when they kidnap Jacob and his family and the second 2nd act beginning when they get to the Titty twister.

The problem is that the Vampire sequence fits so well into a 3 act structure. The first act is when they enter the Titty Twister up to when the vampires appear. The second act ends at the low point, when Jacob gets bit (this also just after his character makes that all important second act decision to move the story forward when he decides not be a faithless preacher but instead to be a "mean, motherfucking servant of God". The third act is when they go out and fight the vampires."

The first part would break up roughly as - Act 1: Up to when they get to the hotel; Act 2: After the kidnap Jacob and his family, up to the border (when Scott wants to turn the Gecko's in); Act 3: From when the border guards come on the RV to the point when they get to the Titty Twister.

Seth being the main character, his primary question in the first part is: How do I get me and my brother out of the country. When they get to the Titty Twister, the question is: How do I survive the night.

I don't know. I feel like I'm rambling at this point. If you have any ideas let me know.

From Dusk 'Till Dawn: http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/From-Dusk-Till-Dawn.html

Day 3 - I want action tonight!

The Dark Knight by Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that The Dark Knight should have won all the major awards (Original Screenplay, Direction, Picture, Cinematography) at last years Oscars. The screenplay itself is long, but never drags like the movie. The reason I selected this script is because I was curious as to how detailed the action sequences were, specifically the prisoner transport sequence as I have a sequence in one of my scripts where a semi-truck is hijacked. The answer is incredibly detailed. It even uses separate scene headings for each location (i.e. Batmobile, Joker's truck, etc.). I had expected one big location (Lower 5th) and then maybe locations in the action, but that wasn't the case. The action lines themselves are terse, but spell out almost every significant action on the screen. It describes all of the action, but doesn't waste words on needless description. Chances are that when I get to rewriting the third act of my script I'm probably going to be using this scene as the template for how I'm going to organize the writing of sequence.

I am probably going to revisit this script later on in the month as I could have probably spent a week writing on this script alone.

The Dark Night http://www.script-o-rama.com/snazzy/dircut.html

Day 2 - That's great, but can you open?

Way of the Gun by Christoper McQuarrie

I love the opening of this movie. In the first scene you find out everything you need to know about the main characters (Parker and Longbaugh). The script opens with them leaning on a random car setting off the alarm. A hipster, his smartass girlfriend and his friends come out. Parker and Longbaugh aren't looking for a fight but they're not going to back down either. The girlfriend keeps saying things to rile Parker and Longbaugh, so when the inevitable fight happens Parker dodges the hipster's punch and punches the girlfriend breaking her nose. After this they proceed to get their asses kicked by the hipster's friends. This shows us that our heroes are really anti-heroes - morally grey and not above hitting a girl.

The opening scene as shot is similar but a little different and actually funnier:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xsaMcw69D8

Another thing that's interesting about the screenplay is that after this scene it goes into a sequence that no one could ever expect to make it into the film, but it informs the tone of the story and the backstory of the characters, but isn't really necessary, but makes for a fun read.

This movie is worth it for the opening alone, and it shows the power of a strong opening. I would have long forgotten about this movie, if it wasn't for Sarah Silverman getting her nose broken in the opening. That's not to say the rest of the script isn't great, because it is, but without that opening I'm not sure I would have gone back to read it as part of the 30 days, but whenever I think of a strong opening it's this movie and Silence of the Lambs as the films I use as examples of openings that really inform character. Silence opens with Starling running through the obsticle course, when she gets the call. She gets into an elevator and she is surrounded by men who are all head and shoulders taller than her.

Oddly enough yesterday and today's script have both featured Benecio Del Toro in the opening sequence.

Way of the Gun: http://www.sendspace.com/file/bvj12b

Day 1 - Did you hear that or was it just in my head?

Snatch by Guy Ritchie

So the first script for my project was Snatch. The thing I wanted to focus on was the use voice overs. Throughout the entire script the main character Turkish, narrates portions of the action. The voice overs are used mostly to add information to scenes, not give completely new information. It's all in Turkish's character. The script starts with Turkish's voice over talking about where every thing is going to end up. The first the key to why the voice over works in this movie, is that it's Turkish narrating the events after they've already happened, so if he's giving us new information, it's not new to him so there's a good reason for him to know it. The second reason is that movie would still work.

And, I think that's why voice over is not the answer for one of my screenplays. If it's not working without it, I don't think it will ever be the answer. While it's a great way to get your characters inner feelings out, it's no substitute for things actually happening.

The other thing that I will be taking out of the reading is way Guy Ritchie gives all of his charcters, even if they're throwaway charcters in one scene, a specific voice. He knows each and every one of them and makes sure that all sound like themselves.

Guy Ritchie will always be one of the writers I'll want to emulate. His movies have dark topics (murder, theft), but the movies themselves are unbelievably fun.

Snatch by Guy Ritchie: http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/snatch.pdf

Day 0 - 30 Scripts in 30 Days

I just spent the last 3 days in downtown LA at Screenwriting Expo 2009, trying to learn about craft and pitching my scripts to agencies. I realized after a few seminars that my neither of the scripts I was pitching were ready. But, I got some good ideas as to where I am going to be taking at least one of them. The big thing that a lot of the seminars emphasized was that I should be reading more scripts. I'm not a huge reader, but I read. Mostly graphic novels, and the Bible, but I haven't been reading a lot of scripts recently. So, I've decided to read 30 scripts in 30 days and then blog about it as I go. My theory being that if I have a deadline and I make it public, it will make me finish. Theoretically, it's not going to be reviews of scripts as much as it's going to be why I picked it and sort of how it fits into to either what I'm working on or how it's going to effect my writing. Wherever possible, I'll put a link to the script so other can read and comment.

Wish me luck.