It's been one of those summers (spring/summers?). So, I'm still on the job hunt. Since last I blogged, I worked for 9 days and did a curling music video. It wasn't union, but it was still pretty legit (apparently, they showed it at the Playboy mansion). I also curled in the Hollywood Blockbuster Bomspiel (see it's sorta movie/writing/pop culture related). I curled one of the best games of my life against a team from Scotland and ended up losing on the last stone (I'm actually happy and not bitter).
But, back to the task at hand. So, I hadn't been reading much in the way of scripts nor had I been writing much. Although having been inspired by Cutaway, I "cutaway" the majority of DVD and book library. Lean and mean, that's what I'm going for. I also realized that writing (or the lottery, fingers crossed) might be the only way I can get out of the massive debt load I'm under (I mean I guess there's always the possibility that someone would hire me to do actual law work, but I'm not sure that would allow me curling schedule I aspire for). I also cancelled my cable and am contemplating cancelling the internet. Not that the internet is all that expensive, it's just kinda distracting and I have an iPhone, so I'll still be able to blog and tweet and email and stuff.
So, I'm back on the horse. I wrote for 2 pomodoros today and spent another 2 finishing up reading the thing I have been plugging away at for months now: a transcript of the story meeting between George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Lawrence Kazdan for Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's like 120 pages long. I'm not sure how far along Lucas is in the process, but it feels like he's given it more thought than the others, but it's still really raw. The two big things I got out of reading it was:
1)Your first idea is rarely the best: In this case it took them about 5 pages to realize that the Nazi should have a part of the amulet burned on his hand instead of there being an out and out miscalculation. they went through such ideas as mistranslation and not factoring in the change of the Earths orbit/tilt. None as good as what they ended up with.
2)Just because you don't use it here, doesn't mean you won't use it: There are two sequences that they initially talk about in this meeting that both appear in Temple of Doom. They're both great sequences (most of the opening through the boat going down the mountain and the mine cars through the tunnels) and I'm glad they didn't just chuck them. They kept them around and used them in the sequel and I think they actually work better there).
Showing posts with label scripts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scripts. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I know what my problem is - I didn't Cutaway
So, Script Frenzy was pretty much a bust as I wasn't really ready to do another first draft, so I just poked at a couple things. I eventually decided to go back and do the re-writes I should have been doing all along. Unfortunately, I seem to have misplaced my rewrite notes, so it's taking me a lot longer than I had anticipated.
Last Saturday I took a class with Scott Lobdell (X-Men, Buffy [comics]) on comic writing and screenwriting. It was kinda amazing just to here about his process. It seems like he is just constantly coming up with ideas, but more importantly, he's also constantly working. He told us his story about how he broke into a comics, and it was basically just working his ass off, until they gave him a chance. He also gave out handouts about the different stages of writing a comic. He also talked about
At the end, Caleb Monroe (an up and coming comic book writer) also spoke about breaking in. I think it was he quoted the old saying about how breaking into comics is like breaking out of prison: once one guy does it, they close off that means of escape.
As I was leaving I grabbed a copy of Hunters Fortune, which Caleb scripted. The thing I immediately noticed was, like in screenwriting, Caleb kept entering each scene at the last possible moment. The book opens with Hunter's landlady yelling about how he is 3 months late on rent. We don't need to see him miss the first two payments, look at his bank account, or turn out his pockets like in Monopoly. We find out everything we need to know about his normal life in the first two pages: he is homeless, unemployed, and his car is being repossessed. The story never stops moving. There is never a wasted frame.
I'll probably end up buying the other book he wrote, something involving Steven Baldwin. Ever since http://www.restorestephenbaldwin.org/, I've been a little weary of anything involving that Baldwin brother (Although, I did love him in Shark in Venice, one of the movies that inspired my own creature-feature Piranhasteroid!).
I have to include this as well:
AUTHORS NOTE: I applaud Mr. Baldwin for living his life openly, I just don't think he should be soliciting money for it.
Last Saturday I took a class with Scott Lobdell (X-Men, Buffy [comics]) on comic writing and screenwriting. It was kinda amazing just to here about his process. It seems like he is just constantly coming up with ideas, but more importantly, he's also constantly working. He told us his story about how he broke into a comics, and it was basically just working his ass off, until they gave him a chance. He also gave out handouts about the different stages of writing a comic. He also talked about
At the end, Caleb Monroe (an up and coming comic book writer) also spoke about breaking in. I think it was he quoted the old saying about how breaking into comics is like breaking out of prison: once one guy does it, they close off that means of escape.
As I was leaving I grabbed a copy of Hunters Fortune, which Caleb scripted. The thing I immediately noticed was, like in screenwriting, Caleb kept entering each scene at the last possible moment. The book opens with Hunter's landlady yelling about how he is 3 months late on rent. We don't need to see him miss the first two payments, look at his bank account, or turn out his pockets like in Monopoly. We find out everything we need to know about his normal life in the first two pages: he is homeless, unemployed, and his car is being repossessed. The story never stops moving. There is never a wasted frame.
I'll probably end up buying the other book he wrote, something involving Steven Baldwin. Ever since http://www.restorestephenbaldwin.org/, I've been a little weary of anything involving that Baldwin brother (Although, I did love him in Shark in Venice, one of the movies that inspired my own creature-feature Piranhasteroid!).
I have to include this as well:
AUTHORS NOTE: I applaud Mr. Baldwin for living his life openly, I just don't think he should be soliciting money for it.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Ugh.
This is just a quick post to let you in on a little lesson I learned last week: Don't make notes if you're not going to look at them.
On Tuesday or Wednesday last week I was going over my notes for my zombie script (tentatively titled "Ship of Ghouls") and I realized I had already solved the problem of fast vs. slow zombies, in a (I hope) new way that I really like and that makes a lot of sense to me.
Oh well, at least I found the notes and am happy now.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Slow and steady wins the race
After some thought last night, I realized I had already given myself a way to have "patient zero" be fast and the rest be slow. But, after talking with Matt and Disco, and really thinking about why I chose the location I did for my script, I realized that slow zombies are the best choice. With narrow hallways and no real escape, there is no need for fast zombies. Sure fast zombies are scarier, but you kinda lose what makes zombies what they are: the living dead.
I may end changing my mind and just making them fast "infected". But, for now, slow and steady wins the race.
BTW: I got back into the treatment for this script that I had started months ago and put down. It's interesting to see all these ideas I had, that I had completely forgotten about (as well as some pretty terrible character names). I'm hoping that by the end of the week I have my treatment done and then I can start working on a beat sheet/outline (possibly right in Final Draft).
Also, since there is no reason why this script should be more than 80-85 pages (a lot of action; less dialogue as we go; keeping that level of tension), I am also going to write a spec for Community. It will of course involve curling. More updates on that when I ahve an actual plot in mind.
Monday, March 8, 2010
How fast do you like your zombies?
I should have realized that once I started playing Left 4 Dead that it was a foregone conclusion that I would select my zombie script to write for Script Frenzy. I debated my ninja script, my panda script and my horror-noir script (and for a moment I even debated my "illegal cross-country road race" script). But, in the end, the fact that I already had a lot of idea on post-its covering one side of my bookcase (and the fact L4D is so intense) caused it to win out. Quite frankly I was beginning to wonder if I would ever write it.
Now comes the fundamental question all modern zombie writers have to answer: Fast or slow zombies?
My initial inclination is to make them slow - in my mind it just makes sense. These people are dead. There muscles and brains are no longer receiving nutrients. The inflection is what is keeping them alive. But, on that same note, there's no rule saying that the infection couldn't be supercharging everything. And, fast zombies are in many ways scarier than slow zombies.
What I am debating doing is making most of them slow and just a handful fast. The problem is how do I explain it? I mean my protagonists are college kids, not biomedical engineers, so any explanation must be readily apparent to them. Do I even have to explain it? The problem is that I don't want my screenplay to come off like a video game, where you have a lot grunts to kill and then bosses.
Let me know if you have any ideas.
Now comes the fundamental question all modern zombie writers have to answer: Fast or slow zombies?
My initial inclination is to make them slow - in my mind it just makes sense. These people are dead. There muscles and brains are no longer receiving nutrients. The inflection is what is keeping them alive. But, on that same note, there's no rule saying that the infection couldn't be supercharging everything. And, fast zombies are in many ways scarier than slow zombies.
What I am debating doing is making most of them slow and just a handful fast. The problem is how do I explain it? I mean my protagonists are college kids, not biomedical engineers, so any explanation must be readily apparent to them. Do I even have to explain it? The problem is that I don't want my screenplay to come off like a video game, where you have a lot grunts to kill and then bosses.
Let me know if you have any ideas.
Friday, March 5, 2010
SCRIPT FRENZY
So, as you may have ascertained, I have not been writing a lot as of late. Between stressing out about not working and working, I just haven't been getting a lot of writing done. So, when my friend Matt emailed me about Script Frenzy, I was instantly hooked.
Now, Script Frenzy is brought to you by the same people who do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), but instead of writing 50,000 words (I think), you have to write 100 pages of script. It can be comic book, screenplay, teleplay, or play (I think I got them all).
It starts 4/1 and goes to 4/30. It may seem like tons of time until it starts, but in actuality, it's not much time at all, when I think about everything I have to do before then:
1) Finish the draft of Heisty that I am working on and probably do at least one polish on it.
2) Figure out which story I want to do next - I guess it's a good problem to have, having a lot of ideas for stories to write about, but I need to pick one and stick with it, which is the hard part.
3) Once I pick the idea I need to quickly write the story, then a treatment and then a fairly detailed outline, because when it comes time to start, 3+ pages a day is not easy when you don't know exactly where your story is going. This is problem I had with Heisty - I just had a basic idea and started writing, so when the script came out to 60 pages, I just started randomly filling stuff in, and not really thinking about the story.
I've got the notecard app for the iPhone, as well as the screenplay app, so I'm going to go through both of those and my Moleskine, over the weekend and try and figure out which story will be the best, easiest, but most importantly, the story I will be the most excited about writing hardcore for a month.
I'll try and give you an idea as to what kinds of stories I'm considering over the weekend. Here's a sneak peak: They're pretty much all genre films.
Now, Script Frenzy is brought to you by the same people who do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), but instead of writing 50,000 words (I think), you have to write 100 pages of script. It can be comic book, screenplay, teleplay, or play (I think I got them all).
It starts 4/1 and goes to 4/30. It may seem like tons of time until it starts, but in actuality, it's not much time at all, when I think about everything I have to do before then:
1) Finish the draft of Heisty that I am working on and probably do at least one polish on it.
2) Figure out which story I want to do next - I guess it's a good problem to have, having a lot of ideas for stories to write about, but I need to pick one and stick with it, which is the hard part.
3) Once I pick the idea I need to quickly write the story, then a treatment and then a fairly detailed outline, because when it comes time to start, 3+ pages a day is not easy when you don't know exactly where your story is going. This is problem I had with Heisty - I just had a basic idea and started writing, so when the script came out to 60 pages, I just started randomly filling stuff in, and not really thinking about the story.
I've got the notecard app for the iPhone, as well as the screenplay app, so I'm going to go through both of those and my Moleskine, over the weekend and try and figure out which story will be the best, easiest, but most importantly, the story I will be the most excited about writing hardcore for a month.
I'll try and give you an idea as to what kinds of stories I'm considering over the weekend. Here's a sneak peak: They're pretty much all genre films.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Whoa, we're halfway there.....
So, I hit Pomodoro's 50-52 tonight. A day or two behind scheudle, but who's counting (well, besides you gentle readers). What seemed impossible only a few days ago, now just seems highly unlikely. My screenplay is grinding along. I realize that I hate starting writing, once I get going I rather enjoy it, but the prospect of sitting down and actually starting seems huge. I think part of it is that I know the tremendous amount work it's going to take to rewrite my script the way it should be. Oh well, I soldier on. Since I'm unemployed, I'm basically paying myself to write and I should think of it more like that. Hopefully that will be more inspiring.
Anyways. So, I watched Inglorious Basterds and read the script yesterday. The big thing I noticed (other than the scenes that were cut), was QT's setting something up with no pay off (in the script). In the script after the massacre in the bar, the Jew Hunter finds a solider still alive who tells him what happened, instead of the way better finding the autograph. You had this great set-up her signing an autograph and kissing it, and then completely forgetting it. Thankfully he realized his mistake. It reminds me of that screenwriting saying that's about if you see a gun in the first act, someone better use it (or something like that). I feel like once I deleted that one character from my script I realized that I had set all this great crap up and I just needed to that character out of the way to see it.
Well, I continue path with blood in my wake. I'll give the week end update as always on Saturday.
PS: I'm going to start working my way through this years Blacklist, so if you have any suggestions let me know.
Anyways. So, I watched Inglorious Basterds and read the script yesterday. The big thing I noticed (other than the scenes that were cut), was QT's setting something up with no pay off (in the script). In the script after the massacre in the bar, the Jew Hunter finds a solider still alive who tells him what happened, instead of the way better finding the autograph. You had this great set-up her signing an autograph and kissing it, and then completely forgetting it. Thankfully he realized his mistake. It reminds me of that screenwriting saying that's about if you see a gun in the first act, someone better use it (or something like that). I feel like once I deleted that one character from my script I realized that I had set all this great crap up and I just needed to that character out of the way to see it.
Well, I continue path with blood in my wake. I'll give the week end update as always on Saturday.
PS: I'm going to start working my way through this years Blacklist, so if you have any suggestions let me know.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Is it catsup or ketchup? All I know is that I am behind on my tomatoes!
Alright, so I got a total of 21 Pomodoro's this week bringing my grand total up to 33. I should be more like 36, which isn't too far off the pace, but with Christmas (eve and day) and NYE coming up and me going back to TC for a week, I was hoping to be close to 80 by the time I went back. Unfortunatley that would require me doing like 10 a day. My new goal is be at 65 when I leave for TC. It's doable. It's like 4 a day. With screenplay reading I should be able to accomplish that, especially if I keep reading the screenplay while I watch it on DVD, which takes longer (I'll only do that once a week).
Speaking of screenplay reading while watching the movie, I did that with The Dark Knight today. The biggest thing I got out of it was how even though it's one way on the page, it will be different on the screen. I know that's fairly obvious, but what I mean is that all of the elements were there, but a lot of times, sequences were edited different than they were written and in all of those times what appeared on the screen was better. Most of the times it involved intercutting between scenes and not playing out one scene and then moving on to the next scene. Pacing wise it kept the movie moving a lot better. This is something I need to think about when I'm trying to build tension, but I still need to get a bunch of story out at the same time. Can I use dialogue from one scene while I'm showing something else. Stuff like that.
Oh well, here's hoping next week is better.
Speaking of screenplay reading while watching the movie, I did that with The Dark Knight today. The biggest thing I got out of it was how even though it's one way on the page, it will be different on the screen. I know that's fairly obvious, but what I mean is that all of the elements were there, but a lot of times, sequences were edited different than they were written and in all of those times what appeared on the screen was better. Most of the times it involved intercutting between scenes and not playing out one scene and then moving on to the next scene. Pacing wise it kept the movie moving a lot better. This is something I need to think about when I'm trying to build tension, but I still need to get a bunch of story out at the same time. Can I use dialogue from one scene while I'm showing something else. Stuff like that.
Oh well, here's hoping next week is better.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
You gotta know what you're talking about
Up in the Air (2/18/03 draft) by Sheldon V. Turner, based on the book by Walter Kim
I'm going to start by saying, I don't know Jason Reitman found his Up in the Air in this script. I haven't read the book, I know nothing about the book. My hope is that the book is closer to Reitman's vision, and this particular screenwriter and countless producers conspired to ruin to it....Although, my fear is that this is a farily accurate adaptation. I have nothing to back that up except for the fact that the writer makes little mistakes which leads me believe he doesn't know what's he's talking about and just parroting a summary of the book. Case in point, the protagonist refers to people as "Japeto". I think this is reference to "Gepetto" from Pinocchio. But, who knows. The more egregious case occurs on page 32 where as joke (I assume) he answers the phone "Edie Ahmean". I can only assume he is referring Idi Amin famous Ugandan dictator. While I don't expect everyone to have seen Barbet Schroeder's General Idi Amin Dada: A Self-Portrait (Last King of Scotland had not yet come out this point), I do expect someone who is trying to make a cultural reference to at least do the research on the spelling of the person's name. (On a complete sidenote when I saw the writers spelling all I could think of was Edie McClurg's role from Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Being a fan of the film and after these (and other minor mistakes) I was predisposed not to like this script, and I didn't. It again makes me realize that Jason Reitman is one of the best filmmakers of generation. He knows when not to touch a script (Juno) and when to rewrite and make it his own.
But, I wonder if it was his track record that allowed to make such sweeping changes (like everything but the setup), which is why this one falls so flat. I am going to hope that this was a new writer without the juice to say that the ending is just too Hollywood, and doesn't fit with the tone of the movie. This could also be a function of the time- 2003 being good times economically and 2009 being bad.
I'm going to start by saying, I don't know Jason Reitman found his Up in the Air in this script. I haven't read the book, I know nothing about the book. My hope is that the book is closer to Reitman's vision, and this particular screenwriter and countless producers conspired to ruin to it....Although, my fear is that this is a farily accurate adaptation. I have nothing to back that up except for the fact that the writer makes little mistakes which leads me believe he doesn't know what's he's talking about and just parroting a summary of the book. Case in point, the protagonist refers to people as "Japeto". I think this is reference to "Gepetto" from Pinocchio. But, who knows. The more egregious case occurs on page 32 where as joke (I assume) he answers the phone "Edie Ahmean". I can only assume he is referring Idi Amin famous Ugandan dictator. While I don't expect everyone to have seen Barbet Schroeder's General Idi Amin Dada: A Self-Portrait (Last King of Scotland had not yet come out this point), I do expect someone who is trying to make a cultural reference to at least do the research on the spelling of the person's name. (On a complete sidenote when I saw the writers spelling all I could think of was Edie McClurg's role from Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Being a fan of the film and after these (and other minor mistakes) I was predisposed not to like this script, and I didn't. It again makes me realize that Jason Reitman is one of the best filmmakers of generation. He knows when not to touch a script (Juno) and when to rewrite and make it his own.
But, I wonder if it was his track record that allowed to make such sweeping changes (like everything but the setup), which is why this one falls so flat. I am going to hope that this was a new writer without the juice to say that the ending is just too Hollywood, and doesn't fit with the tone of the movie. This could also be a function of the time- 2003 being good times economically and 2009 being bad.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Don't condescend me....
Armored by James V. Simpson
First off this a pretty good script. It moves ridiculously fast and keeps the tension high throughout most of it. The big problem I had was that the script said things like "Ty's Camaro blasts into a lot full of big red ARMORED CURRENCY TRANSPORTS (ACTs), that's an "Armored Truck" for you
civilians." and "A TACTICAL MOBILE UNIT, you know it as a "police car", crawls
around the corner of a building." I'm not really sure why the author took such great pains to assume we didn't know the jargon and to prove how smart he is by pointing it out to the reader. Maybe it's just me (because I like to think I know a lot of stuff) but this instantly made me very angry towards this script. I got past it, but it did stick in craw for much of the read and ended up taking me out of it from time to time.
It would be different if this was a script about a crackerjack team pulling off a heist, but this is by design average people pulling off an admittedly simple heist. It's great you know the proper terminology for all this, but it's unnecessary. There are countless other ways the author could have gotten this information across without making the reader feel ignorant.
On a complete side note, my curling team "You Say Zombie! We Say Where?" clinched our playoff berth tonight and will be 3 seed after and 8-2 win. There was actually a 5 way tie for the final 2 positions and because we had beaten 2 of the teams and lost to the other 2, it came down to tiebreaker points, which we did pretty well on this season. Even the games we lost, we managed to win at least 3 or 4 ends which all added up to us catapulting two teams that had beaten us. Tonight we played probably the best we had played all season, everything seemed to be firing right (or at least when we needed it). It's too bad our Vice-Skip, Jen, won't be there next week for our grudge match against "The Untouchables".
Also, unless Ryan Grant gets negative points tomorrow night, I also clinched a playoff spot in my Fantasy Football league.
First off this a pretty good script. It moves ridiculously fast and keeps the tension high throughout most of it. The big problem I had was that the script said things like "Ty's Camaro blasts into a lot full of big red ARMORED CURRENCY TRANSPORTS (ACTs), that's an "Armored Truck" for you
civilians." and "A TACTICAL MOBILE UNIT, you know it as a "police car", crawls
around the corner of a building." I'm not really sure why the author took such great pains to assume we didn't know the jargon and to prove how smart he is by pointing it out to the reader. Maybe it's just me (because I like to think I know a lot of stuff) but this instantly made me very angry towards this script. I got past it, but it did stick in craw for much of the read and ended up taking me out of it from time to time.
It would be different if this was a script about a crackerjack team pulling off a heist, but this is by design average people pulling off an admittedly simple heist. It's great you know the proper terminology for all this, but it's unnecessary. There are countless other ways the author could have gotten this information across without making the reader feel ignorant.
On a complete side note, my curling team "You Say Zombie! We Say Where?" clinched our playoff berth tonight and will be 3 seed after and 8-2 win. There was actually a 5 way tie for the final 2 positions and because we had beaten 2 of the teams and lost to the other 2, it came down to tiebreaker points, which we did pretty well on this season. Even the games we lost, we managed to win at least 3 or 4 ends which all added up to us catapulting two teams that had beaten us. Tonight we played probably the best we had played all season, everything seemed to be firing right (or at least when we needed it). It's too bad our Vice-Skip, Jen, won't be there next week for our grudge match against "The Untouchables".
Also, unless Ryan Grant gets negative points tomorrow night, I also clinched a playoff spot in my Fantasy Football league.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Sometimes you need a scalpal...and sometimes you need a chainsaw
First, the Pomodoro update. I am currently at 13 Pomodoros for the month, so I am behind the pace, but I have every confidence that I'll be able to catch up.
Next, so I've been having some trouble with this script I've been writing. I've got this character whom I love (he's sort of like a gay Micky Stone from Hustle), but he doesn't have a whole lot to do in the script until the end, besides drop the occasional bon mot. So, I was having trouble sleeping on Thursday night and I started thumbing through Script magazine and they were talking about editing and cutting stuff and it hit me - I had to cut that character. I had debated cutting one of the other main charcters, but I couldn't make it work. I changed the gender of a different main charcater, and she ended up working better, but something was still off. The answer was always cutting this main character.
As soon as I made the decision to cut him, everything fell into place. Now my two central characters, have actual arcs and themes. The script (once the changes are made) will be a gijillion times better than it was going to be with the changes that I was planning as late as Wednesday of this week. The whole script just makes more sense and will move so much better.
As a result, this will probably take the rest of the tomatoes this month to finish.
Next, so I've been having some trouble with this script I've been writing. I've got this character whom I love (he's sort of like a gay Micky Stone from Hustle), but he doesn't have a whole lot to do in the script until the end, besides drop the occasional bon mot. So, I was having trouble sleeping on Thursday night and I started thumbing through Script magazine and they were talking about editing and cutting stuff and it hit me - I had to cut that character. I had debated cutting one of the other main charcters, but I couldn't make it work. I changed the gender of a different main charcater, and she ended up working better, but something was still off. The answer was always cutting this main character.
As soon as I made the decision to cut him, everything fell into place. Now my two central characters, have actual arcs and themes. The script (once the changes are made) will be a gijillion times better than it was going to be with the changes that I was planning as late as Wednesday of this week. The whole script just makes more sense and will move so much better.
As a result, this will probably take the rest of the tomatoes this month to finish.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
It's our differences that make us special
Ocean's Eleven by Steven Carpenter revisions by Ted Griffin
So, today I decided to try something I had read about, where you read the screenplay whilst you watch the movie. Unfortunately, the only copy of Ocean's I could find was not the shooting script, but was (I'm guessing) an almost final draft. What was interesting about this was the skeleton was all there, but the minor tweaks from dialogue to charcter and plot points made a huge difference on the screen. Seeing the final version, I agreed with all the changes made. A lot of them were just wittier dialogue, although many of my favorite moments do exist in the script. The big change that I noticed was the end. In the script Tess tells Danny that she doesn't want to be with him or Terry and then walks off leaving Danny with his crew, whereas on screen Danny gets arrested for parole violations (which had been foreshadowed throught the script and film) and Tess runs up and says "That's my husband". That is one of the biggest emotional points in the film and it's not in this draft of the script. My hope is that Ted Griffin saw the mentions of parole and then realzied that was a perfect ending.
At Screenwriting Expo John Cleese talked about how in Fish Called Wanda he couldn't figure out what to do with Michael Palin's character in the middle of the script (as he had nothign to do until the end), then he realized he should have him try and kill the witness but instead just kill her dogs (his character is huge animal lover). This kind of thing was just somethign that was probably always there in the story and he just had to find it.
I'm going to try and do this kind of thing more often, with both shooting scripts and early drafts.
Ocean's Eleven http://www.mypdfscripts.com/index.php?s=ocean's+11
So, today I decided to try something I had read about, where you read the screenplay whilst you watch the movie. Unfortunately, the only copy of Ocean's I could find was not the shooting script, but was (I'm guessing) an almost final draft. What was interesting about this was the skeleton was all there, but the minor tweaks from dialogue to charcter and plot points made a huge difference on the screen. Seeing the final version, I agreed with all the changes made. A lot of them were just wittier dialogue, although many of my favorite moments do exist in the script. The big change that I noticed was the end. In the script Tess tells Danny that she doesn't want to be with him or Terry and then walks off leaving Danny with his crew, whereas on screen Danny gets arrested for parole violations (which had been foreshadowed throught the script and film) and Tess runs up and says "That's my husband". That is one of the biggest emotional points in the film and it's not in this draft of the script. My hope is that Ted Griffin saw the mentions of parole and then realzied that was a perfect ending.
At Screenwriting Expo John Cleese talked about how in Fish Called Wanda he couldn't figure out what to do with Michael Palin's character in the middle of the script (as he had nothign to do until the end), then he realized he should have him try and kill the witness but instead just kill her dogs (his character is huge animal lover). This kind of thing was just somethign that was probably always there in the story and he just had to find it.
I'm going to try and do this kind of thing more often, with both shooting scripts and early drafts.
Ocean's Eleven http://www.mypdfscripts.com/index.php?s=ocean's+11
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Day 30 - Sunflowers in the window
Sunflower by Mischa Green
So, it's the last in the series and I had anticipated going out on a big blockbuster movie or something really personal to me. Instead, I chose this little unproduced script called Sunflower that Kristy from The Matriarchial Script Paradigm blog (http://mscriptparadigm.blogspot.com/) recommended to me last night on Facebook.
The script is ridiculously tense. The author does a great job setting everything up and introducing us to the characters before we realize the horror of what's going on in the story. The overwhelming sense of dread and betrayals in the script make for an amazing read and show how a script can really come to life on the page.
One of the big things I got out of it, just from a technical point, was that even when there was a lot of text on the page she broke it up well, making most paragraphs 3 lines or less and using ALL CAPS to draw us to the really important parts when your eyes glaze over.
Well, this experiment is over, thanks for following me through these 30 scripts. I think in the future I'm going to try to do 2-3 a week and make sure to include some sort of rating system. Let me know if there is anything else you'd like to see.
Sunflower http://www.mediafire.com/?w2ndzmtmfwm
So, it's the last in the series and I had anticipated going out on a big blockbuster movie or something really personal to me. Instead, I chose this little unproduced script called Sunflower that Kristy from The Matriarchial Script Paradigm blog (http://mscriptparadigm.blogspot.com/) recommended to me last night on Facebook.
The script is ridiculously tense. The author does a great job setting everything up and introducing us to the characters before we realize the horror of what's going on in the story. The overwhelming sense of dread and betrayals in the script make for an amazing read and show how a script can really come to life on the page.
One of the big things I got out of it, just from a technical point, was that even when there was a lot of text on the page she broke it up well, making most paragraphs 3 lines or less and using ALL CAPS to draw us to the really important parts when your eyes glaze over.
Well, this experiment is over, thanks for following me through these 30 scripts. I think in the future I'm going to try to do 2-3 a week and make sure to include some sort of rating system. Let me know if there is anything else you'd like to see.
Sunflower http://www.mediafire.com/?w2ndzmtmfwm
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The countdown and next project
So, I have one script to go and I will have finished my 30 scripts in closer to 40 days. But, I was sick for a lot of it, so I'm cutting myself some slack on this first one.
I will be announcing the next project on THANKSGIVING, so keep watching the blog to see how I'm going to be filling my days next.
On, another note, the Pomodoro Technique is still going relatively strong. I used it to clean the majority of my apartment (between yesterday and today). I still have a lot of cleaning to go, but it's looking way better. I'm going to start setting a goal of 8-12 Pomodoros a day (starting on Friday), I'll keep you updated on that. (BTW: I did 9 Pomodoros yesterday and 3 today)
I will be announcing the next project on THANKSGIVING, so keep watching the blog to see how I'm going to be filling my days next.
On, another note, the Pomodoro Technique is still going relatively strong. I used it to clean the majority of my apartment (between yesterday and today). I still have a lot of cleaning to go, but it's looking way better. I'm going to start setting a goal of 8-12 Pomodoros a day (starting on Friday), I'll keep you updated on that. (BTW: I did 9 Pomodoros yesterday and 3 today)
Friday, November 20, 2009
Day 28 - The films of Richard Guy
Rocknrolla - Guy Ritchie
Since I am writing a comedy-caper movie, I can't not read more Guy Ritchie. Rocknrolla may be my favorite of the Guy Ritchie caper movies. I'm not sure why? It's probably the characters, which is what Ritchie does so well. His scripts are alwyas thick with atmosphere, you learn everything you need to about these characters relatively quickly sometimes through their actions, but usually through dialogue. Guy Ritchie (like Tarantino) is not one to shy away from the monologue, but the difference with Ritchie is that his monologues are shorter and the pop culture walkabouts he takes never last longer than page. He doesn't have the Tarantino thing where girls sit around a table for pages talking about something on the radio, or the like. Ritchie has the "cool" dialogue, without letting it slow down the pace. And that's the key with dialogue, it can be cool, but not at the cost of pace and story.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Day 19 - Do you know what time it is?
24 "Pilot" - Joel Surnow and Robert Cochran
So, my trip through TV scripts continues. It's really amazing how fast this pilot moves. You find out everything you need to know about Jack Bauer in this hour of TV. It's start off at home - he's family man trying to put his family back together. Next CTU - he may have had an affair with a woman he works with. He turned in coworkers, even though he knew it would hurt his career. He tranq'd a superior in order to buy time to get information to blackmail him with.
We learn that JAck Bauer is willing to bend the rules for the right reasons, but will not countenance someone breaking them for the wrong reasons.
The other thing is that they don't have the big clock at the act breaks, instead are forced shots showing clocks in a room, or phone recordings stating the time. I think this would have felt forced, whereas the clock at the commercial breaks with the split screen works well, and reminds us that other things are going on while this is happening.
This may actually be why this series has survived so well. When one story waxes, the other wane. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Jack still has to deal with family stuff, while he's trying to prevent an assassination. In the later seasons, we even see the villains family lives, giving us a much more well rounded story then if we just saw Jack, and he didn't have a family or friends and he just was solving the mystery.
So, my trip through TV scripts continues. It's really amazing how fast this pilot moves. You find out everything you need to know about Jack Bauer in this hour of TV. It's start off at home - he's family man trying to put his family back together. Next CTU - he may have had an affair with a woman he works with. He turned in coworkers, even though he knew it would hurt his career. He tranq'd a superior in order to buy time to get information to blackmail him with.
We learn that JAck Bauer is willing to bend the rules for the right reasons, but will not countenance someone breaking them for the wrong reasons.
The other thing is that they don't have the big clock at the act breaks, instead are forced shots showing clocks in a room, or phone recordings stating the time. I think this would have felt forced, whereas the clock at the commercial breaks with the split screen works well, and reminds us that other things are going on while this is happening.
This may actually be why this series has survived so well. When one story waxes, the other wane. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Jack still has to deal with family stuff, while he's trying to prevent an assassination. In the later seasons, we even see the villains family lives, giving us a much more well rounded story then if we just saw Jack, and he didn't have a family or friends and he just was solving the mystery.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Day 18 - Mother, tell you children not hear my words; What they mean; What they say. Mother.
Alias "The Enemy Walks in" by J.J. Abrams
This is a weird episode, because it moves the story forward, but because it was the first episode of season 2 (and they were hoping for new viewers) there was A LOT of recap. But, what they did that was smart was some of it was done by Sydney talking to her CIA therapist and mixed in with new action. I guess the thing I learned was if you have to have a huge amount of exposition (some of it not new to the audience) mix it into the action and parse it out. Don't try to do it all at once.
Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow and I'll do a better post then
This is a weird episode, because it moves the story forward, but because it was the first episode of season 2 (and they were hoping for new viewers) there was A LOT of recap. But, what they did that was smart was some of it was done by Sydney talking to her CIA therapist and mixed in with new action. I guess the thing I learned was if you have to have a huge amount of exposition (some of it not new to the audience) mix it into the action and parse it out. Don't try to do it all at once.
Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow and I'll do a better post then
Monday, November 2, 2009
Day 15 - You did what to my mom!?!?!
Man on Fire by Brian Helgeland
I love this movie. But, it would have been ruined if they had made the mistake of the script. In this draft Crease has sex with Pinta's mom (Lisa). While it made sense in the story and added a scene where Lisa wanted Crease fired, the audience would have ended up not liking Crease nearly as much. That's the whole point of the the first half of the movie is Crease's redemption. If he sleeps with Lisa, than he isn't redeemed. It's almost disrespectful to Pinta.
This is a mistake I made in a draft of a screenplay a while back. I wanted the hero to get drunk and cheat on his wife to show he had hit rock bottom. A friend told me that she wouldn't be able to like him again if he did this. And after about 2 drafts of that sequence, I realized she was right. So, now he comes close and then realizes what he'd be giving up.
Man on Fire - http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/manonfire.pdf
I love this movie. But, it would have been ruined if they had made the mistake of the script. In this draft Crease has sex with Pinta's mom (Lisa). While it made sense in the story and added a scene where Lisa wanted Crease fired, the audience would have ended up not liking Crease nearly as much. That's the whole point of the the first half of the movie is Crease's redemption. If he sleeps with Lisa, than he isn't redeemed. It's almost disrespectful to Pinta.
This is a mistake I made in a draft of a screenplay a while back. I wanted the hero to get drunk and cheat on his wife to show he had hit rock bottom. A friend told me that she wouldn't be able to like him again if he did this. And after about 2 drafts of that sequence, I realized she was right. So, now he comes close and then realizes what he'd be giving up.
Man on Fire - http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/manonfire.pdf
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Day 14 - What a novel treatment
Brick (treatment/novella) - Rian Johnson
Since November is National Novel Writing Month (http://www.nanowrimo.org/), I thought I would take a quick look at the Brick treatment. In a preface he talks about the reaosn he wanted to do it this way was because he was intentionally trying to get a Dashiell Hammett feel and he thought a prose pass would be the best way to do it. I think it worked. I wish I had read it prior to seeing the film, but the tone is there as is most of the unique dialogue traits. The treatment is 76 pages long, so it's way longer than a traditionally treatment, but for a project like this that relies so much on tone and feel, it's was probably the way to go.
I had never really thought about using a treatment like that. I had always thought they were tools for getting the story out. Sorta like a fleshed out outline. But, this is something more, this allowed Johnson to get the the feel of the story. So, now I'm wondering if I should be using this as a way to get into the story. Since it is National Novel Writing Month, I'm seriously considering trying to write one of my scripts as a novella, just to get the tone and feel right. If nothing else it would be an interesting experiment.
Brick (Novella/Treatment/Screenplay): http://www.mypdfscripts.com/treatments/brick-treatmentnovella
Since November is National Novel Writing Month (http://www.nanowrimo.org/), I thought I would take a quick look at the Brick treatment. In a preface he talks about the reaosn he wanted to do it this way was because he was intentionally trying to get a Dashiell Hammett feel and he thought a prose pass would be the best way to do it. I think it worked. I wish I had read it prior to seeing the film, but the tone is there as is most of the unique dialogue traits. The treatment is 76 pages long, so it's way longer than a traditionally treatment, but for a project like this that relies so much on tone and feel, it's was probably the way to go.
I had never really thought about using a treatment like that. I had always thought they were tools for getting the story out. Sorta like a fleshed out outline. But, this is something more, this allowed Johnson to get the the feel of the story. So, now I'm wondering if I should be using this as a way to get into the story. Since it is National Novel Writing Month, I'm seriously considering trying to write one of my scripts as a novella, just to get the tone and feel right. If nothing else it would be an interesting experiment.
Brick (Novella/Treatment/Screenplay): http://www.mypdfscripts.com/treatments/brick-treatmentnovella
Friday, October 30, 2009
Day 12 - My day at the Mini dealership.
About a Boy
So, I'm writing this entry on my iPhone while I wait for the brakes on my Mini to be replaced.
The thing that struck me in this script was the use of narration by multiple charcters. Right now, in my DayQuil addled brain, I can't really think of another script in which the two main characters both narrated.
The story is Will's story, but Marcus' story definitely informs Will's. Both stories are about the characters maturing. The voiceovers work well in showing that, especially with Will's internal battle to keep from I think this works best when it emphasizes the fact that while they are talking about one thing they are thinking something completely different.
Now that I think about it, I think some romcoms have done it, but not like this. If you can think of any let me know.
I'm still looking for it online
So, I'm writing this entry on my iPhone while I wait for the brakes on my Mini to be replaced.
The thing that struck me in this script was the use of narration by multiple charcters. Right now, in my DayQuil addled brain, I can't really think of another script in which the two main characters both narrated.
The story is Will's story, but Marcus' story definitely informs Will's. Both stories are about the characters maturing. The voiceovers work well in showing that, especially with Will's internal battle to keep from I think this works best when it emphasizes the fact that while they are talking about one thing they are thinking something completely different.
Now that I think about it, I think some romcoms have done it, but not like this. If you can think of any let me know.
I'm still looking for it online
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