What if?

So, a friend of mine just gave me 8 boxes comics.  I figure I have enough reading material for the next year.  Most of the boxes are well organized, but one of them was just comics, thrown in a semi-random order.  So, before I went out tonight, I decided to kinda look through and see what was there.  Before I knew it, I had unpacked a decent portion of the box on my floor.  For those of oyu who don't know me, I'm kinda OCD, so I had to unpack and organize the whole box at that point. 

So, now I have the whole box in piles by title on my floor.  Some of which I am super excited to read (Runaways, Danger Girl) and some of which I still will read, but will not be a top priority (Groo). 

When I got the boxes, he was showing me some of the books.  It was crazy.  I remembered reading them about 20 years ago when they were fresh on the stands.  Kraven the Hunter.  Spider-Man and MJ's wedding.  Issues I went to the comic book store and bought with anticipation when they came out, coming back into my life when I am more than twice as old as when I read them the first time.  I can't wait to read those old issues and see how much I remember. 

I am also excited to read the new stuff that I have read about, but never went and bought.  I feel like just recently, comics have kinda crossed over into the mainstream.  July was the first ComicCon I went to, and I can't wait for next year.  Comikaze is next weekend, and eventhough I am currently unemployed, I am trying to figure out (rationalize) how to pay for at least one day. 

So far I have only read one book out of the boxes.  It was a "What if?"

I know I have written about the DC version "Elseworlds" before on this blog, but I wanted to revisit some of the same topics. The "What if?" series essientially asks what would have happened if a storyline had gone in a completely different direction.  In this case it was about "what if Jean Grey had been resurrected in Astonishing X-Men instead of Colossus.   It was interesting, because it called the Cyclops and White Witch relationship into question.  But, it also made me think of Batman: Flashpoint.



In Batman: Flashpoint, it's alternate relaty where Bruce Wayne was killed and his parents survive.  In this reality, Thomas Wayne becomes Batman.  He fights the crime that killed his son, and is searching for his arch-nemesis the Joker.  What is interesting is that when we see the Joker, it is not the Joker we know, but instead it's Martha Wayne, Bruce's mother.  What we see is 2 different reactions to parents seeing their child murdered.  One is to become a crusader for justice.  The other is become the incarnation of the chaos that took that child.  In some ways, this is more interesting view of characters.  But, I'm not sure how long this could remain interesting. 


I like these kind of stories because it make the writer ask "What if?"




I could and probably will say more at a later date, but I have been drinking and am going to bed.

Timing is everything.

PREFACE:  I have decided to branch out from the strictly writing beginning of this blog.

So, I went and saw a friend of mine do 10 minutes of stand-up at Flappers in Burbank.  She was easily  the funniest person all night.  One of the big problems I had with two of the comedians was the fact that their pop culture references were horribly dated.  One of them was telling a joke about how music was telling her to do things (i.e.: Get that dirt of your shoulder).  Now, I am pretty much the whitest man who has ever lived, but even I can tell you that Jay-Z's "Black Album" came out in 2003 (actually I thought it was "The Blueprint" (2002), but Wikipedia corrected me, but I was at least close).  Then the next comedian came up and made a joke about "Jenny from the Block".  I thought to myself I think that was the same album as "My Love Don't Cost a Thing", which video had Ben Affleck.  Since that video, Affleck has dumped J Lo; met Jennifer Garner;  Married Jennifer Garner; Had at least one kid; and directed two movies (as well as acting in I don't know how many).  The point I want to make is that if you are going to make a pop culture reference in your jokes, make sure it's still in the popular culture.  If you seriously want to be comedian, you might want to write new jokes once every 5 years. 

Actually, this did turn out to be about writing.  I guess the lesson I learned was be careful about putting pop culture references in your script, because by the time the movie gets made, they will probably be dated. 

T.J. vs. Productivity

So, I picked the wrong week to institute a new work regiment. Between business meetings and a curling party, I was actually busy last week and my plan relies on the fact that I have no life.
My friend Disco suggested I try the iPhone app "Epic Win". It's basically a getting things done app where you get experience points for completing tasks. It's kinda cool. I still need the pomodoros, but this is a cool addition.
As far as screenplays, I just read an early version of "Scott Pilgrim". It's interesting because it has several parts which are even more different from the book than the theatrical version. I think a lot if this is because Brian Lee O'Mally hadn't decided how the series was going to go when the books were optioned, so the screenwriter was able to make a lot more choices. It's sorta like an alternate reality.


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The September Accords

Yesterday, I had one of those moments where I knew that I couldn't keep coasting through life.  So, I made a list of things I needed to do and then a list of things I needed to do to accomplish those goals.  So, as an experiment I am putting this list to the test as something called "The September Accords".  I think it sounds fancy.  So, basically you'll probably hear more from me for the next month.  
Anywho, I read the script for Batman today.  This is an unproduced script from 1984.  The whole time I was reading it, all I could think about was which era would this fit (Burton, Schumaker, Nolan), because as the Joker said in Dark Knight "But I know the truth: there's no going back. You've changed things... forever."  And that's the truth, once you've established a world, people will always compare it and if you change it too much, they won't believe it.  Every movie has to be a product of their time, even if it's sci-fi, a period piece, or comic book movie.  In this Batman, the Joker's sidekicks had jet-packs.  Now this might have worked in Batman Returns, or any of the Schumaker's, but it wouldn't work now.  People want everything nowadays grounded in some sort of reality, or at least people acknowledging that it's not comporting (i.e. Superman).  Everything in the Nolan Batman movies at least seems like it might possibly happen.  Also, this script has the introduction of Robin, which would never (I hope) enter the Nolan universe.  The idea of a man adopting a boy to train to fight crime just seems like abuse at this point in time.  
Well, there's the first of what I hope are many posts during the the month.

Wow, 2 days in a row

So, I hope this means I'm back.  I didn't get a lot of writing done today.  I did however watch the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, which I started after my blog post last night.  I also started watching 3 Days of the Condor, which I like, but I also realized that I like doing other things while I watch TV (internet, Words With Friends) and I don't always pay attention to what's going on, and for a movie like that i really need to sit down and watch.  I plan on attempting again after this blog post.
I also watched two sports movies today.  I like watching sports movies because they motivate me to train for curling.  I'm going focus on the one I watched in morning because it had a much more complicated story than the one I watched while riding my exercise bike (The Rookie).  Gracie is the story set in the 1970's of a girl who's brother was a soccer star coached by her father.  After her brother is killed in a car accident, she decides that she is going to play on boys varsity team (there is no girls team) and beat the team her brother couldn't.  Her father refuses to coach her because she's a girl and boys coach won't let her train in the boys gym (the only one with weights).
At this point, I was like "Okay.  Here is where she decides to do it on her own and prove everyone wrong."  Except that's not what happens.  She decides to quit.  She starts partying and sneaking into clubs.  She fails her classes and eventually steals her parents car and has get pulled off some older dude by her dad.  It's only when she's hit rock bottom that her dad decides to train her because that's all he can think to do because he can't talk to her.  Her father goes so far as to quit his job to train her.  But, when the school board refuses to let her play on the boys team, her father talks to the school and gets her on the field hockey team (essientially giving up on her playing soccer).  She does the appeal herself and the school board agrees to let her try out.  She tries out, but only makes JV.  She wants to quit, but her dad talks her out of it.  I won't ruin the end (but we can all guess what it is).  There is a lot more to this movie, but it's father-daughter relationship that makes it memorable.
I guess the thing I took away from this movie is that you can have that typcial set up and even the same act breaks as every other sports movie, but make it a much more complex story if you make your characters rounded and fallible.  She doesn't have the strength in the begging to keep going when everyone tells her to quit.  She needs to hit rock bottom and her dad to believe in her.  After all the training, her dad still doesn't believe a girl should play on the boys team.    Depending on the type of movie you're making you don't necessarily need all that complexity.  It's entirely possible that it was realness of the story that kept it from succeeding at the box office.  But, at the end of the day I'm going to remember this movie for a lot longer than something like that football movie with Marky Mark Invincible or probably even The Rookie.  When Gracie succeeds, you feel it a lot more as you have way more invested in the character.
When I inevitably write a curling script it'll probably be more The Cutting Edge than Gracie, but I'm definitely going to be thinking about Gracie while I'm writing it.
Wow, in an effort to make this even more stream-of-consciousness.  I was just thinking about how in those things you see on-line "50 questions to ask your charcater" and the like, in most cases while I'm writing a movie I can answer most of those questions, but not all.  And certainly after watching a movie I couldn't answer most of them.  But, after watching Gracie, I could probably answer most of them, not only about Gracie, but about her mom and dad as well.  None of the characters felt like throwaway archtypes.
I'm seriously rambling now.  I'll leave it at this and hope to be more coherent when next we meet.  

BTW: I'm finishing my 2nd pomodoro of the day right about now.

Has it been 4 months already?

It's been one of those summers (spring/summers?).  So, I'm still on the job hunt.  Since last I blogged, I worked for 9 days and did a curling music video.  It wasn't union, but it was still pretty legit (apparently, they showed it at the Playboy mansion).  I also curled in the Hollywood Blockbuster Bomspiel (see it's sorta movie/writing/pop culture related).  I curled one of the best games of my life against a team from Scotland and ended up losing on the last stone (I'm actually happy and not bitter).
But, back to the task at hand.  So, I hadn't been reading much in the way of scripts nor had I been writing much.  Although having been inspired by Cutaway, I "cutaway" the majority of DVD and book library.  Lean and mean, that's what I'm going for.  I also realized that writing (or the lottery, fingers crossed) might be the only way I can get out of the massive debt load I'm under (I mean I guess there's always the possibility that someone would hire me to do actual law work, but I'm not sure that would allow me curling schedule I aspire for).  I also cancelled my cable and am contemplating cancelling the internet.  Not that the internet is all that expensive, it's just kinda distracting and I have an iPhone, so I'll still be able to blog and tweet and email and stuff.
So, I'm back on the horse.  I wrote for 2 pomodoros today and spent another 2 finishing up reading the thing I have been plugging away at for months now: a transcript of the story meeting between George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Lawrence Kazdan for Raiders of the Lost Ark.  It's like 120 pages long.  I'm not sure how far along Lucas is in the process, but it feels like he's given it more thought than the others, but it's still really raw.  The two big things I got out of reading it was:
1)Your first idea is rarely the best:  In this case it took them about 5 pages to realize that the Nazi should have a part of the amulet burned on his hand instead of there being an out and out miscalculation.  they went through such ideas as mistranslation and not factoring in the change of the Earths orbit/tilt.  None as good as what they ended up with.
2)Just because you don't use it here, doesn't mean you won't use it:  There are two sequences that they initially talk about in this meeting that both appear in Temple of Doom.  They're both great sequences (most of the opening through the boat going down the mountain and the mine cars through the tunnels) and I'm glad they didn't just chuck them. They kept them around and used them in the sequel and I think they actually work better there).

I know what my problem is - I didn't Cutaway

So, Script Frenzy was pretty much a bust as I wasn't really ready to do another first draft, so I just poked at a couple things.  I eventually decided to go back and do the re-writes I should have been doing all along.  Unfortunately, I seem to have misplaced my rewrite notes, so it's taking me a lot longer than I had anticipated.

Last Saturday I took a class with Scott Lobdell (X-Men, Buffy [comics]) on comic writing and screenwriting.  It was kinda amazing just to here about his process.  It seems like he is just constantly coming up with ideas, but more importantly, he's also constantly working.  He told us his story about how he broke into a comics, and it was basically just working his ass off, until they gave him a chance.  He also gave out handouts about the different stages of writing a comic.  He also talked about
At the end, Caleb Monroe (an up and coming comic book writer) also spoke about breaking in.  I think it was he quoted the old saying about how breaking into comics is like breaking out of prison:  once one guy does it, they close off that means of escape.

As I was leaving I grabbed a copy of Hunters Fortune, which Caleb scripted.  The thing I immediately noticed was, like in screenwriting, Caleb kept entering each scene at the last possible moment.  The book opens with Hunter's landlady yelling about how he is 3 months late on rent.  We don't need to see him miss the first two payments, look at his bank account, or turn out his pockets like in Monopoly.  We find out everything we need to know about his normal life in the first two pages: he is homeless, unemployed, and his car is being repossessed.  The story never stops moving.  There is never a wasted frame.
I'll probably end up buying the other book he wrote, something involving Steven Baldwin.  Ever since http://www.restorestephenbaldwin.org/, I've been a little weary of anything involving that Baldwin brother (Although, I did love him in Shark in Venice, one of the movies that inspired my own creature-feature Piranhasteroid!).
I have to include this as well:



AUTHORS NOTE:  I applaud Mr. Baldwin for living his life openly, I just don't think he should be soliciting money for it.

I think it means, like, sneaky or something

On Groupon last weekend they had a deal where if you could a buy a $12.00 gift certificate for Collectors Paradise for $5.00.  I, of course, bought the max (which was 3).  I neglected to check out the location of this comic book store, which is Winnetka.  Now, for my readers who don't know where that is - it's hip deep in the valley and nowhere near anywhere I go anymore.  It's basically almost as far as the law office I used to work at.  I might have had a second thought about buying them had I known, and I would have ended up regretting it.  It takes me about half an hour to get there, which is about how long it takes me to get to Golden Apple, which is where I make my purchases now.  The store is about the same size and the selection is not quite as good, but still better than Secret Headquarters (the closest store to me).  I have a feeling that they know they are in ass end of nowhere, so they have a "Graphic Novel Club" where if you buy a graphic novel, you get 20% in store credit to spend on your next graphic novel purchase.  I'm not sure if this is enough to get me to go back after I spend all my gift certificates (which can't be stacked).  

So, my first purchase was Incognito by Ed Brubaker with art by Sean Phillips.  Now, you may have noticed that this is probably the first time I've mentioned the authors of a graphic novel, and that's because I'm a huge fan of both of them.  Ed Brubaker does the Criminal series, which is usually 3-5 issue arcs that are sort of noir-pulpy.  Sean Phillips has been involved with Criminal, Marvel Zombies, and Hellblazer.  Between the two of them they manage to hit my two favorite things: pulp and horror.

Incognito is the story of Zack Overkill, a former supervillain now in the witness protection program forced to live out the rest of his days as a file clerk at huge office building.  When the drugs that rob him of his superpowers start wearing off, he starts fighting crime - not because he's had some epiphany, but because he likes hurting people.  He's the kind of guy who after he's done saving you, he's likely to yell at you or take you home and have his way with you.  He hates regular people.  He just hate not being superior more, and if he's found out he'll likely be put in prison with his old boss, whom he helped put away.  

I got it home and I couldn't put it down.  What's amazing about this book, is that it isn't a redemption story.  He hasn't learned to love humanity during his time as a regular person - as a matter of fact, he may hate them even more now.  He hasn't found a respect for human life, he still loves killing people.  He is who he is.  

I guess the main thing I took out of this, from a writing standpoint, is to let your character's be who they are.  If their assholes, let them be the best asshole they can be.  Not everyone when given the opportunity to change for the better is going to do it, some might change for the worse just to show you who's boss.  

My life will the Thrillkiller cult

So, I just got Batman: Thrillkiller from the Atwater Village library and read it cover to cover.  I am telling you now, to do whatever you have to do read this book.  It's not a perfect story, but what it does do, it does very well.
The story basically reinvents the Batman story and shows what new paths you can go down if you make changes in a character's backstory or change the setting of the story.  In this new version, which takes place in 1961, Bruce Wayne's parents go broke in the depression, prior to being killed, and Bruce is raised in an orphanage and becomes a cop.  Barbara Gordon is Batgirl and Dick Grayson is Robin, and Bruce is hunting them down.  Barbara is rich and owns Wayne Manor, which she has retrofitted and refers to as the Batcave.  There are other changes (Joker is a woman), but you get the idea.
In the past, I never gave a huge amount of thought into character's backstory or the specifics about setting.  While I was writing Heisty however, I started to.  I changed character's gender and starting using specific regional aspects in the storytelling, and it helped the story make sense.
Thrillkiller does this in spades, it takes a story we already know and shows us how everything would be different if their world was different, but that what it is at the core of the character doesn't have to change.  Bruce is a corrupt cop like everyone else on the force because of his tough upbringing, he is still a boy scout.
If you can get your hands on a copy of this book, it's definitely worth reading.

Ugh.

This is just a quick post to let you in on a little lesson I learned last week:  Don't make notes if you're not going to look at them.

On Tuesday or Wednesday last week I was going over my notes for my zombie script (tentatively titled "Ship of Ghouls") and I realized I had already solved the problem of fast vs. slow zombies, in a (I hope) new way that I really like and that makes a lot of sense to me. 

Oh well, at least I found the notes and am happy now.

Slow and steady wins the race

After some thought last night, I realized I had already given myself a way to have "patient zero" be fast and the rest be slow.  But, after talking with Matt and Disco, and really thinking about why I chose the location I did for my script, I realized that slow zombies are the best choice.  With narrow hallways and no real escape, there is no need for fast zombies.  Sure fast zombies are scarier, but you kinda lose what makes zombies what they are: the living dead. 

 I may end changing my mind and just making them fast "infected".   But, for now, slow and steady wins the race.  

BTW: I got back into the treatment for this script that I had started months ago and put down.  It's interesting to see all these ideas I had, that I had completely forgotten about (as well as some pretty terrible character names). I'm hoping that by the end of the week I have my treatment done and then I can start working on a beat sheet/outline (possibly right in Final Draft).

Also, since there is no reason why this script should be more than 80-85 pages (a lot of action; less dialogue as we go; keeping that level of tension), I am also going to write a spec for Community.  It will of course involve curling.  More updates on that when I ahve an actual plot in mind.

How fast do you like your zombies?

I should have realized that once I started playing Left 4 Dead that it was a foregone conclusion that I would select my zombie script to write for Script Frenzy.  I debated my ninja script, my panda script and my horror-noir script (and for a moment I even debated my "illegal cross-country road race" script).   But, in the end, the fact that I already had a lot of idea on post-its covering one side of my bookcase (and the fact L4D is so intense) caused it to win out.  Quite frankly I was beginning to wonder if I would ever write it.

Now comes the fundamental question all modern zombie writers have to answer: Fast or slow zombies?

My initial inclination is to make them slow - in my mind it just makes sense.  These people are dead.  There muscles and brains are no longer receiving nutrients.  The inflection is what is keeping them alive.  But, on that same note, there's no rule saying that the infection couldn't be supercharging everything.  And, fast zombies are in many ways scarier than slow zombies.

What I am debating doing is making most of them slow and just a handful fast.  The problem is how do I explain it?  I mean my protagonists are college kids, not biomedical engineers, so any explanation must be readily apparent to them.   Do I even have to explain it?  The problem is that I don't want my screenplay to come off like a video game, where you have a lot grunts to kill and then bosses.

Let me know if you have any ideas.

SCRIPT FRENZY

So, as you may have ascertained, I have not been writing a lot as of late.  Between stressing out about not working and working, I just haven't been getting a lot of writing done.  So, when my friend Matt emailed me about Script Frenzy, I was instantly hooked.
Now, Script Frenzy is brought to you by the same people who do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), but instead of writing 50,000 words (I think), you have to write 100 pages of script.  It can be comic book, screenplay, teleplay, or play (I think I got them all).
It starts 4/1 and goes to 4/30.  It may seem like tons of time until it starts, but in actuality, it's not much time at all, when I think about everything I have to do before then:
1) Finish the draft of Heisty that I am working on and probably do at least one polish on it.
2) Figure out which story I want to do next - I guess it's a good problem to have, having a lot of ideas for stories to write about, but I need to pick one and stick with it, which is the hard part.
3) Once I pick the idea I need to quickly write the story, then a treatment and then a fairly detailed outline, because when it comes time to start, 3+ pages a day is not easy when you don't know exactly where your story is going.  This is problem I had with Heisty - I just had a basic idea and started writing, so when the script came out to 60 pages, I just started randomly filling stuff in, and not really thinking about the story.

I've got the notecard app for the iPhone, as well as the screenplay app, so I'm going to go through both of those and my Moleskine, over the weekend and try and figure out which story will be the best, easiest, but most importantly, the story I will be the most excited about writing hardcore for a month.

I'll try and give you an idea as to what kinds of stories I'm considering over the weekend.  Here's a sneak peak: They're pretty much all genre films.

I am returned

I have been gone quite awhile. I know, like children, you're wondering: "What did he bring me? Script reviews? Tomatoes? Some other halfassed ideas?"
The answer is....I have brought you nothing. Certainly, I have read scripts (and I will be discussing them soon) and I have been attempting to get around this problem in my script (without the help of tomatoes, which may or may not be a good idea).
But, in fact, I come to you empty handed. This is only a harbinger of things to come.
I am returned. And you will be hearing from me.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I got two tomatoes, one for the both of you!

So, I read the first (of what I asusme will be many) of the scripts off of the Blacklist, The Gunslinger by John Hlavin.  I heard described as a western meets Taken, which is pretty much what it it.  It's a revenge movie pretty straight up.  This script could have easily just been cliche, which it is in sections, but because it was so well written, it doesn't matter.  The script moves so well you don't want to stop and think about what you've read, you just have to know what happens next.  It just keeps racheting up the tension and stakes until the end where you're on the edge of your seat and you can't wait to see how it ends.  I defintely got a lot of out the action lines, which were short, but detailed.  You knew everything that was going to happen, which made seeing it in your head much easier.

Next, on to the Pomodoros:  As of 6:30 on 12/19, I am at 63 Pomodoros.  So, unless I am completely worthless, I will be able to hit my goal of 65 Pomodoros before I leave for TC on Monday.  Since I am going to be spending a lot of time sitting on planes on Monday, my goal is to have 72-75 Pomodoros when I land in TC.

Whoa, we're halfway there.....

So, I hit Pomodoro's 50-52 tonight.  A day or two behind scheudle, but who's counting (well, besides you gentle readers).  What seemed impossible only a few days ago, now just seems highly unlikely.  My screenplay is grinding along.  I realize that I hate starting writing, once I get going I rather enjoy it, but the prospect of sitting down and actually starting seems huge.  I think part of it is that I know the tremendous amount work it's going to take to rewrite my script the way it should be.  Oh well, I soldier on.  Since I'm unemployed, I'm basically paying myself to write and I should think of it more like that.  Hopefully that will be more inspiring.

Anyways.  So, I watched Inglorious Basterds and read the script yesterday.  The big thing I noticed (other than the scenes that were cut), was QT's setting something up with no pay off (in the script).  In the script after the massacre in the bar, the Jew Hunter finds a solider still alive who tells him what happened, instead of the way better finding the autograph.  You had this great set-up her signing an autograph and kissing it, and then completely forgetting it.  Thankfully he realized his mistake.  It reminds me of that screenwriting saying that's about if you see a gun in the first act, someone better use it (or something like that).  I feel like once I deleted that one character from my script I realized that I had set all this great crap up and I just needed to that character out of the way to see it.

Well, I continue path with blood in my wake.  I'll give the week end update as always on Saturday.

PS: I'm going to start working my way through this years Blacklist, so if you have any suggestions let me know.

Is it catsup or ketchup? All I know is that I am behind on my tomatoes!

Alright, so I got a total of 21 Pomodoro's this week bringing my grand total up to 33.  I should be more like 36, which isn't too far off the pace, but with Christmas (eve and day) and NYE coming up and me going back to TC for a week, I was hoping to be close to 80 by the time I went back.  Unfortunatley that would require me doing like 10 a day.  My new goal is be at 65 when I leave for TC.  It's doable.  It's like 4 a day.  With screenplay reading I should be able to accomplish that, especially if I keep reading the screenplay while I watch it on DVD, which takes longer (I'll only do that once a week).
Speaking of screenplay reading while watching the movie, I did that with The Dark Knight today.  The biggest thing I got out of it was how even though it's one way on the page, it will be different on the screen.  I know that's fairly obvious, but what I mean is that all of the elements were there, but a lot of times, sequences were edited different than they were written and in all of those times what appeared on the screen was better.  Most of the times it involved intercutting between scenes and not playing out one scene and then moving on to the next scene.  Pacing wise it kept the movie moving a lot better.  This is something I need to think about when I'm trying to build tension, but I still need to get a bunch of story out at the same time.  Can I use dialogue from one scene while I'm showing something else.  Stuff like that.

Oh well, here's hoping next week is better.

You gotta know what you're talking about

Up in the Air (2/18/03 draft) by Sheldon V. Turner, based on the book by Walter Kim

I'm going to start by saying, I don't know Jason Reitman found his Up in the Air in this script.  I haven't read the book, I know nothing about the book.  My hope is that the book is closer to Reitman's vision, and this particular screenwriter and countless producers conspired to ruin to it....Although, my fear is that this is a farily accurate adaptation.  I have nothing to back that up except for the fact that the writer makes little mistakes which leads me believe he doesn't know what's he's talking about and just parroting a summary of the book.  Case in point, the protagonist refers to people as "Japeto".  I think this is reference to "Gepetto" from Pinocchio.  But, who knows.  The more egregious case occurs on page 32 where as joke (I assume) he answers the phone "Edie Ahmean".  I can only assume he is referring Idi Amin famous Ugandan dictator.  While I don't expect everyone to have seen Barbet Schroeder's General Idi Amin Dada: A Self-Portrait (Last King of Scotland had not yet come out this point), I do expect someone who is trying to make a cultural reference to at least do the research on the spelling of the person's name. (On a complete sidenote when I saw the writers spelling all I could think of was Edie McClurg's role from Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Being a fan of the film and after these (and other minor mistakes) I was predisposed not to like this script, and I didn't.  It again makes me realize that Jason Reitman is one of the best filmmakers of generation.  He knows when not to touch a script (Juno) and when to rewrite and make it his own.

But, I wonder if it was his track record that allowed to make such sweeping changes (like everything but the setup), which is why this one falls so flat.  I am going to hope that this was a new writer without the juice to say that the ending is just too Hollywood, and doesn't fit with the tone of the movie.  This could also be a function of the time- 2003 being good times economically and 2009 being bad.

Don't condescend me....

Armored by James V. Simpson

First off this a pretty good script.  It moves ridiculously fast and keeps the tension high throughout most of it.  The big problem I had was that the script said things like "Ty's Camaro blasts into a lot full of big red ARMORED CURRENCY TRANSPORTS (ACTs), that's an "Armored Truck" for you
civilians." and "A TACTICAL MOBILE UNIT, you know it as a "police car", crawls
around the corner of a building."  I'm not really sure why the author took such great pains to assume we didn't know the jargon and to prove how smart he is by pointing it out to the reader.  Maybe it's just me (because I like to think I know a lot of stuff) but this instantly made me very angry towards this script.  I got past it, but it did stick in craw for much of the read and ended up taking me out of it from time to time.
It would be different if this was a script about a crackerjack team pulling off a heist, but this is by design average people pulling off an admittedly simple heist.  It's great you know the proper terminology for all this, but it's unnecessary.  There are countless other ways the author could have gotten this information across without making the reader feel ignorant.

On a complete side note, my curling team "You Say Zombie!  We Say Where?" clinched our playoff berth tonight and will be 3 seed after and 8-2 win.  There was actually a 5 way tie for the final 2 positions and because we had beaten 2 of the teams and lost to the other 2, it came down to tiebreaker points, which we did pretty well on this season.  Even the games we lost, we managed to win at least 3 or 4 ends which all added up to us catapulting two teams that had beaten us.  Tonight we played probably the best we had played all season, everything seemed to be firing right (or at least when we needed it).  It's too bad our Vice-Skip, Jen, won't be there next week for our grudge match against "The Untouchables".

Also, unless Ryan Grant gets negative points tomorrow night, I also clinched a playoff spot in my Fantasy Football league.

Sometimes you need a scalpal...and sometimes you need a chainsaw

First, the Pomodoro update.  I am currently at 13 Pomodoros for the month, so I am behind the pace, but I have every confidence that I'll be able to catch up.

Next, so I've been having some trouble with this script I've been writing.  I've got this character whom I love (he's sort of like a gay Micky Stone from Hustle), but he doesn't have a whole lot to do in the script until the end,  besides drop the occasional bon mot.  So, I was having trouble sleeping on Thursday night and I started thumbing through Script magazine and they were talking about editing and cutting stuff and it hit me - I had to cut that character.  I had debated cutting one of the other main charcters, but I couldn't make it work.  I changed the gender of a different main charcater, and she ended up working better, but something was still off.  The answer was always cutting this main character.
As soon as I made the decision to cut him, everything fell into place.  Now my two central characters, have actual arcs and themes.  The script (once the changes are made) will be a gijillion times better than it was going to be with the changes that I was planning as late as Wednesday of this week.  The whole script just makes more sense and will move so much better.
As a result, this will probably take the rest of the tomatoes this month to finish.